authenticity?

I don't even know how to start this. first things first...

My "u" button is still not working...but I am getting a new computer in a few days (if you have a dell and want to know a secret message me ;) )
the rumor is true, my DOG dislocated her knee...who does that? Not only that but she is on bed rest for a week! how am I supposed to keep my dog still for a week? HAve you ever met my dog?

OK, but I didn't set out to talk about libby...it's just easier than what is really on my mind. If you have talked to me in the last 6 months you probably know a lot is going on, and I am not going into detail on here, if you don't understand you can ask me, but I'm not posting my personal life on the internet...just some of the feelings related to it.

It sucks...there are so many aspects of my life I am fed up with right now, I feel like nursing school is slipping further and further out of reach, I'm getting older and older to where it is not so acceptable that I don't have a degree. I don't have friends here...I spend most of my time working or catching up from working that it doesn't leave time for things like making new friends.

And that in and of itself is so freaking hard. Church seems to be the obvious place to try to find friends...but I just can't. There is so many unknowns in that regard in my heart...I just don't know how to even explain it. I just don't feel like I belong there. And I'm feeling like I hate myself, how am I supposed to make friends when I don't even like myself?

Then that leaks over into my regular life, I don't have friends, I don't have people to talk to, I just come home and play with Libby (my dog if you are not aware).

I'm just at a loss, I feel like I can't fix this...