blogs salad and irresponsibility

so I'm currently at one of may favorite establishments... Tossed enjoying a salad and blogging.

I STILL don't have internet at my new apartment, come tuesday maybe I will blog from my own house :). I don't have cable also reducing my possibilities of wasting time and not doing things I should (like unpacking). I wouldn't worry though, I have procrastinating down to an art. The only things that are unpacked are my clothes and the kitchen...all of which my sister did while I was at work.

I thought packing my life into boxes was anxiety inducing...I guess unpacking those same boxes has the same effect. I have all this space and I don't know how to use it. I am a creature of habit so I know where ever these items land is probably going to be where they stay for the remainder of my time in my apartment. I think I also know how I threw those same things into boxes just a week ago, and so with the opening of every box is a surprise and a moment of what was I thinking, like today I found that I decided that packing my dvds and towels together was a great idea. I actually remember and those items were 2 of the last things I packed as I got the call the movers were on their way so I tossed them in the box and declared I was done (that was a really bad judgement on my part).

I feel really bad...(ps this is a subject change). I got sent home from work today because I was sick...I really was sick...I kept throwing up, but I knew it wasn't contagious so I figured I could work through it. And now that I feel fine I feel really guilty like I should have stuck it out...I have this annoying quirk...If I worry about ANYTHING I get sick the next morning. I have gone to the doctor (although it had been a long time and I am considering going back) So what happened was it started with a headache. I had it yesterday but it wasn't a huge deal. I had agreed to take one of my former campers to a concert, and I was fine...I went home and my head started to hurt again, and I only had about 2 1/2 hours to sleep before I had to be at work. But I wasn't worried about the lack of sleep I had planned for this and had taken a nap yesterday afternoon to prepare...But as I was falling asleep I started to worry, just general normal stuff that is always on my mind...this is why I normally fall asleep watching tv...so I don't think about this stuff...And lo and behold 4:25 am I was throwing up (sorry if you don't like stories about throwing up) I took some medicine that is supposed to help, and went to work...thats what sucks about opening, you don't have the luxury of calling in or getting a shift covered. I figured I would put on my big girl panties and go...and that it would maybe even be better to go to work and get my mind off the fact that I didn't feel good. but an hour later I was back on my way home. I hate it though. I feel awful...Kendra who sent me home was also not feeling well, and she stayed and her shift was longer than mine to begin with. I just hate not being reliable. I hate feeling like I 'm being a baby. I hate that when I woke up at 10:30 I felt fine. I almost would have felt more justified in being sent home if I had felt bad the whole day...but this whole throwing up thing never lasts that long only until about lunch time...which is why I thought I should stick it out. I'm just tired of it. I want to worry like a normal person...it sucks because when I start to worry I think about the fact that I'm going to make myself sick...then I worry about that. Anyhoo Kendra if you are reading this thank you for sending me home I really appreciate it and I'm sorry that I'm a baby (maybe I can play with your new baby spud)