dilemma

So I have this dilemma. Unless you live under a facebook rock (which I don't know how that would be possible if you are reading this) You know that I have given Libby away. She is at my moms, and no that does not mean I can see her when I want, that actually makes this much harder, because I will now have this thrown in my face as yet another way that I have failed at life...now I can't even properly care for a dog. In fact in the conversation I had with her in giving her to my mom she said "I will keep her, even if it gets hard" (this was because I told her I really can't take her back, this has happened before where I have said that I can't keep her, she goes to my moms and my mom thinks a week later I'll be over it and take her back) Really, giving Libby up was one of the hardest things I could ever do...I know it's dumb and I don't know when I became one of those crazy dog owners...but I am. So I'm mad that my mom is acting like this was an easy cop out for me. I've tried everything I know to do and ultimately it just isn't fair to Libby to be cooped up in an apartment while I'm at work all the time, she needs a back yard and room to run.

So I really miss Libby, I loved that she is a great cuddler. If she were here right now she'd be under my blanket by my feet, and once I go to bed she would wait until I settled and then come to her spot next to me, and everytime I would roll over she would get up and move to the same spot on the other side. It hasn't even been a full day, but I miss the excitement when I come home.

So I started thinking, I can't take Libby back, like I said I am mad and frustrated that she destroys everything, but I can't blame her, she gets bored and there is only so much I can do when I'm gone all day, I can't afford day care every day I've tried different toys, by the time I get home I'm exhausted and it's dark, so a long walk or the dog park are out of the question. I can't get another dog, it would possibly be the same situation...my schedule just doesn't really allow for a dog. So, I thought about a cat. Now, I don't really like cats...in fact I'm allergic to them last time I checked, not like hugely, but if I touch a cat and touch my face it gets red and itchy. But a cat would be much better suited for my life style...much easier to box train, and hopefully would be willing to cuddle. I'm thinking about adopting a kitten, the upkeep is MUCH cheaper than a dog (especially libby). But I don't know, I can't even think of another pet name, with Libby I knew her name before I even saw her, and it fits her perfectly, but cats are different, I don't know why but they are. And with a cat I feel like I could have a whole other set of problems than I did with a dog, my apt is small, so I don't really have a good place for a litter box, and I don't want my apt to smell like one. Cats scratch things, and I have wood floors, granted libby has already chewed most of my furniture. My sister hates cats so when she comes to visit she wouldn't want to stay with me.

any suggestions? and NO FISH!!!