Emotional

"Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional"
-Diana Degarmo

So, if you know me at all you would know in general I am not a very emotional person. I generally stay calm, I don't cry much, even when I'm angry I can usually just hold it in and vent later. I get worked up, but usually I just need a good vent session every once and a while and I'm good.

So, If you have met me or seen me recently...you know all of what I just said hasn't been true lately. I cry at the drop of a hat, I am pretty generally stressed out ALL the time, I have caught myself being rude to friends and strangers.

It's just not me...and that makes it all the harder, it is so frustratingly hard to not feel like yourself. Especially when I have glimpses of my old self. I don't know what is wrong with me. Ultimately I think I'm just unhappy, and I think I even know what I need to do to fix it, but that is a terrifying step in and of itself. I really hate the unknown.

I don't know what would be easier...rewinding or fast forwarding...all I know is I hate where I am.