Long overdue

I am the worst blogger ever...I'm just saying.

I have good intentions, there are about 9 blogs in my draft folder that I don't post. Part of me is wondering if this blog is going to make it an even 10.

I just have this inner battle when I go to blog. Do you people even care what I'm going to say? Do I have anything worth blogging about? and more often than not I get tired of having to edit my own thinking because I don't know who reads this.

So it's one of the most wonderful times of the year. Sweatshirt/ hoodie weather. My only real delimma is that I don't have a job where I can really wear them anymore. For most of the year I am lucky that my work uniform involves scrubs and tennis shoes, but my heart sinks a little when I see people come in wearing comfy looking sweatshirts. I also love long sleeved t shirts. The cool part about my job is that we can wear Texas Childrens T shirts with our scrubs, but it just sucks because you can only get them from the hospital, well we can order them, but it seems like a complicated process. All of that to say I need to see if I can get the long sleeved ones.

Anyone keeping track on anemia-gate 09...I still love ice...I'm still tired ALL the time...I'm wondering if I have to learn to live with it.

So I am STILL trying to find a church. I'm not going to lie that I am not the most motivated person in this, I really have tried, but I just get so overwhelmed that I can't bring myself to keep trying, then I wind up back at square 1. There was a church that I was going to try, Crosspoint, but I recently found out that my supervisor and manager both go there, while I guess it doesn't really matter, I just think it's better to keep some things separate, and more for their sake, I don't want to invade on their lives, they were there first. I've gone to 2nd baptist, it's kinda like my safety I guess, if in doubt I know I can go there, but it's so big it's hard to not feel like an outsider, I just don't know if I want to go there long term. This whole process is so awkward, I hate doing it alone. When you try churches with someone else it's easier to do I think because you have that person with you so your not waiting for someone to come talk to you, you have that person, but when you are by yourself the whole thing is so awkward, you don't have anyone to talk to, so you just sit quietly, until someone pities you and comes to talk to you, but once you pass the initial conversation phase its just weird, I can't explain the phenomena.

Flu season is killing me. I've almost been at my job for 4 months now, so while I feel pretty self competent in the grand scheme of life I'm still new. It's just so exhausting, don't get me wrong, I love my job...but I feel like it consumes my life. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. I'm so tired at the end of the day...I have no desire to do anything else.

Anyhoo, I think I'm commiting to posting this one...hooray