No, no, no...not what your thinking. Just expressing my gratitude for the extra hour added to my sleep last night. You know what I just thought about. How come when we get that extra hour, you never hear anyone say "wow, an extra hour in the day to get more stuff done" no, it's always, "yes I get to sleep in an hour" I just think it's funny that I am not the only member of society that HUGELY appreciates the act of sleeping.
Good thing I got an extra hour because I was none too happy about the text I got at 2am that woke me up. I really need to learn to sleep with my phone on vibrate.
So it's November. I can't believe it. I feel like the stores all have their Christmas decor on standby and any day now I'm going to be inundated with Christmas. I enjoy Christmas...I just like some order in my holidays, let Halloween and thanksgiving have their days in the sun Christmas. On Tuesday I went to target to get a Halloween tshirt to wear to work. I could not find anything, in the place where the shirts were a week earlier there were CHRISTMAS shirts...this was before Halloween. Good thing nobody really celebrates thanksgiving in clothing...maybe they should. I'm starting to feel like thanksgiving is the underdog of the holidays. I mean we get to eat a substantial meal on that day, why not commemorate it with a tshirt like we do with every other holiday. Why is Adam Sandler the only one to write a thanksgiving song. Is there a Charlie Brown thanksgiving story? I can't remember. GO THANKSGIVING!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
sick and tired...
So today has been less than stellar. I actually had a day off. I have been building it up for the last week or so. I took today off for a undisclosed doctor appt. I didn't need the whole day...ok well i kinda did for my own sanity, but not the point.
So imagine my dismay when over the weekend I started having ear pain. I knew it was probably just congestion, but I have occasionally gotten ear infections from this, so this is when it started creeping in my head that I might need to make another dr appt for today. But I REALLY didn't want to, I hate going to the dr when I know it's really not a big deal. If I could prescribe myself antibiotics that would be perfect because that was all I wanted. Anyhoo, it doesn't matter because at that point I didn't make a appt.
Then yesterday i had a scratchy throat and a very low grade temp (99.9)...not even in fever territory. Throughout the day I also noticed my neck was swollen and sore... I just felt bad. but by the time i got home from work it was too late to try to make an appt with my dr... and I still wasn't convinced I needed to...it was more just a matter of the fact that I had the time off and I knew if it got worse I wouldn't have the luxury of having time off later on.
So I woke up this morning throat even scratchier, but my temp was back down. I almost didn't call, but I did because like I said before, I don't normally have time to go to the dr. Really I thought if this was just a matter of starting antibiotics that I wanted to start them and be done with being sick. So I went to the dr. and was in the waiting room, when a NEWS CREW came in. Are you kidding me? They were asking if anyone had flu...which I was thinking was some sort of HIPAA violation. Of course my body chose that moment to cough, I tried so hard to stifle it, but it came out. They asked if I had flu, and I said no...I really wanted to tell them off about all the swine flu reporting hysteria and the craziness they have caused to my life, but I'm pretty sure Texas Childrens would not be ok with that, so I kept my mouth shut. Luckily I got called back pretty quickly.
Unlucky is when I got called back basically long story short, why have i been sick...I have MONO again. Here is a little lesson for all of you... while I cannot "catch" mono again, i can (and am) relapsing. And even more encouraging is that she said this will probably happen any time I get sick for at least the next year...
THEN...unrelated I went home before my other appt...I was just on my computer, probably facebook, when out of nowhere my eye started hurting like a dart had just been thrown at it, ok not that bad, but still it really hurt. I could barely open my eye enough to get my contact out... sometimes it hurts if I get something on my contact or something, but this wouldn't go away, I couldn't open my eyes and actually fell asleep since I couldn't open them.
So I kept my glasses on and went to my other appt. The undisclosed appt didn't go well, then I decided to go to the eye dr. Since my lazy day had effectively been ruined already. So I now also have a corneal abrasion.
Today can only get better...right?
So imagine my dismay when over the weekend I started having ear pain. I knew it was probably just congestion, but I have occasionally gotten ear infections from this, so this is when it started creeping in my head that I might need to make another dr appt for today. But I REALLY didn't want to, I hate going to the dr when I know it's really not a big deal. If I could prescribe myself antibiotics that would be perfect because that was all I wanted. Anyhoo, it doesn't matter because at that point I didn't make a appt.
Then yesterday i had a scratchy throat and a very low grade temp (99.9)...not even in fever territory. Throughout the day I also noticed my neck was swollen and sore... I just felt bad. but by the time i got home from work it was too late to try to make an appt with my dr... and I still wasn't convinced I needed to...it was more just a matter of the fact that I had the time off and I knew if it got worse I wouldn't have the luxury of having time off later on.
So I woke up this morning throat even scratchier, but my temp was back down. I almost didn't call, but I did because like I said before, I don't normally have time to go to the dr. Really I thought if this was just a matter of starting antibiotics that I wanted to start them and be done with being sick. So I went to the dr. and was in the waiting room, when a NEWS CREW came in. Are you kidding me? They were asking if anyone had flu...which I was thinking was some sort of HIPAA violation. Of course my body chose that moment to cough, I tried so hard to stifle it, but it came out. They asked if I had flu, and I said no...I really wanted to tell them off about all the swine flu reporting hysteria and the craziness they have caused to my life, but I'm pretty sure Texas Childrens would not be ok with that, so I kept my mouth shut. Luckily I got called back pretty quickly.
Unlucky is when I got called back basically long story short, why have i been sick...I have MONO again. Here is a little lesson for all of you... while I cannot "catch" mono again, i can (and am) relapsing. And even more encouraging is that she said this will probably happen any time I get sick for at least the next year...
THEN...unrelated I went home before my other appt...I was just on my computer, probably facebook, when out of nowhere my eye started hurting like a dart had just been thrown at it, ok not that bad, but still it really hurt. I could barely open my eye enough to get my contact out... sometimes it hurts if I get something on my contact or something, but this wouldn't go away, I couldn't open my eyes and actually fell asleep since I couldn't open them.
So I kept my glasses on and went to my other appt. The undisclosed appt didn't go well, then I decided to go to the eye dr. Since my lazy day had effectively been ruined already. So I now also have a corneal abrasion.
Today can only get better...right?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Long overdue
I am the worst blogger ever...I'm just saying.
I have good intentions, there are about 9 blogs in my draft folder that I don't post. Part of me is wondering if this blog is going to make it an even 10.
I just have this inner battle when I go to blog. Do you people even care what I'm going to say? Do I have anything worth blogging about? and more often than not I get tired of having to edit my own thinking because I don't know who reads this.
So it's one of the most wonderful times of the year. Sweatshirt/ hoodie weather. My only real delimma is that I don't have a job where I can really wear them anymore. For most of the year I am lucky that my work uniform involves scrubs and tennis shoes, but my heart sinks a little when I see people come in wearing comfy looking sweatshirts. I also love long sleeved t shirts. The cool part about my job is that we can wear Texas Childrens T shirts with our scrubs, but it just sucks because you can only get them from the hospital, well we can order them, but it seems like a complicated process. All of that to say I need to see if I can get the long sleeved ones.
Anyone keeping track on anemia-gate 09...I still love ice...I'm still tired ALL the time...I'm wondering if I have to learn to live with it.
So I am STILL trying to find a church. I'm not going to lie that I am not the most motivated person in this, I really have tried, but I just get so overwhelmed that I can't bring myself to keep trying, then I wind up back at square 1. There was a church that I was going to try, Crosspoint, but I recently found out that my supervisor and manager both go there, while I guess it doesn't really matter, I just think it's better to keep some things separate, and more for their sake, I don't want to invade on their lives, they were there first. I've gone to 2nd baptist, it's kinda like my safety I guess, if in doubt I know I can go there, but it's so big it's hard to not feel like an outsider, I just don't know if I want to go there long term. This whole process is so awkward, I hate doing it alone. When you try churches with someone else it's easier to do I think because you have that person with you so your not waiting for someone to come talk to you, you have that person, but when you are by yourself the whole thing is so awkward, you don't have anyone to talk to, so you just sit quietly, until someone pities you and comes to talk to you, but once you pass the initial conversation phase its just weird, I can't explain the phenomena.
Flu season is killing me. I've almost been at my job for 4 months now, so while I feel pretty self competent in the grand scheme of life I'm still new. It's just so exhausting, don't get me wrong, I love my job...but I feel like it consumes my life. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. I'm so tired at the end of the day...I have no desire to do anything else.
Anyhoo, I think I'm commiting to posting this one...hooray
I have good intentions, there are about 9 blogs in my draft folder that I don't post. Part of me is wondering if this blog is going to make it an even 10.
I just have this inner battle when I go to blog. Do you people even care what I'm going to say? Do I have anything worth blogging about? and more often than not I get tired of having to edit my own thinking because I don't know who reads this.
So it's one of the most wonderful times of the year. Sweatshirt/ hoodie weather. My only real delimma is that I don't have a job where I can really wear them anymore. For most of the year I am lucky that my work uniform involves scrubs and tennis shoes, but my heart sinks a little when I see people come in wearing comfy looking sweatshirts. I also love long sleeved t shirts. The cool part about my job is that we can wear Texas Childrens T shirts with our scrubs, but it just sucks because you can only get them from the hospital, well we can order them, but it seems like a complicated process. All of that to say I need to see if I can get the long sleeved ones.
Anyone keeping track on anemia-gate 09...I still love ice...I'm still tired ALL the time...I'm wondering if I have to learn to live with it.
So I am STILL trying to find a church. I'm not going to lie that I am not the most motivated person in this, I really have tried, but I just get so overwhelmed that I can't bring myself to keep trying, then I wind up back at square 1. There was a church that I was going to try, Crosspoint, but I recently found out that my supervisor and manager both go there, while I guess it doesn't really matter, I just think it's better to keep some things separate, and more for their sake, I don't want to invade on their lives, they were there first. I've gone to 2nd baptist, it's kinda like my safety I guess, if in doubt I know I can go there, but it's so big it's hard to not feel like an outsider, I just don't know if I want to go there long term. This whole process is so awkward, I hate doing it alone. When you try churches with someone else it's easier to do I think because you have that person with you so your not waiting for someone to come talk to you, you have that person, but when you are by yourself the whole thing is so awkward, you don't have anyone to talk to, so you just sit quietly, until someone pities you and comes to talk to you, but once you pass the initial conversation phase its just weird, I can't explain the phenomena.
Flu season is killing me. I've almost been at my job for 4 months now, so while I feel pretty self competent in the grand scheme of life I'm still new. It's just so exhausting, don't get me wrong, I love my job...but I feel like it consumes my life. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. I'm so tired at the end of the day...I have no desire to do anything else.
Anyhoo, I think I'm commiting to posting this one...hooray
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I was just enjoying a lazy day Saturday when I thought it would be nice to update the ol' blog while I'm not mid crisis :).
Things have been returning to more normal which is a HUGE relief to me. I feel more like myself, which is weird because I never realized how unlike myself I was until recently now that I am feeling better. It's so weird to look back and see how miserable I was, but I didn't even really realize it at the time, if that makes any sense.
I had a slight set back this week when I developed a cold...but luckily that was all it was and I'm actually already 98% over it. Although I'm not going to lie, when I first started noticing it I was scared I was having a mono relapse, I am relieved it was just an everyday cold.
My apt is an overwhelming mess, while I was in the midst of the mono, and when I went back to work full time my dr said to let house (apt?) work go for a bit, that I needed to save my energy...and I took that to heart. Now the thought of cleaning overwhelms me and I don't know where to start. As crazy as my mom drives me, I might see if she wants to come over one day this week and give me a head start...then she can also spend some time with libby...and I'll be at work...it's not like she cares to spend time with me anyway (did I just say that?).
Today is the 15th...which marks 2 months at my job. Granted it was slightly on again off again...it has gone by really fast. I love my job, and I love it even more now that I am not sick anymore. I am so incredibly thankful that I found it right out of school. Especially knowing that some of the people I graduated with...or ones that graduated before me are either still looking for jobs or miserable in jobs they settled for. Every now and then I am dissapointed in myself that I settled for being an MA and that I didn't stick out trying to go to nursing school...but I think I'm in a good place right now in that I can still finish school and get my RN...but in the meantime I'm content in a job I like, getting experience that I couldn't have gotten anywhere else, working with great people...even to the point that I'm totally fine waiting a year or so to go back to school.
Anyhoo, all of that to say life is good for now.
Things have been returning to more normal which is a HUGE relief to me. I feel more like myself, which is weird because I never realized how unlike myself I was until recently now that I am feeling better. It's so weird to look back and see how miserable I was, but I didn't even really realize it at the time, if that makes any sense.
I had a slight set back this week when I developed a cold...but luckily that was all it was and I'm actually already 98% over it. Although I'm not going to lie, when I first started noticing it I was scared I was having a mono relapse, I am relieved it was just an everyday cold.
My apt is an overwhelming mess, while I was in the midst of the mono, and when I went back to work full time my dr said to let house (apt?) work go for a bit, that I needed to save my energy...and I took that to heart. Now the thought of cleaning overwhelms me and I don't know where to start. As crazy as my mom drives me, I might see if she wants to come over one day this week and give me a head start...then she can also spend some time with libby...and I'll be at work...it's not like she cares to spend time with me anyway (did I just say that?).
Today is the 15th...which marks 2 months at my job. Granted it was slightly on again off again...it has gone by really fast. I love my job, and I love it even more now that I am not sick anymore. I am so incredibly thankful that I found it right out of school. Especially knowing that some of the people I graduated with...or ones that graduated before me are either still looking for jobs or miserable in jobs they settled for. Every now and then I am dissapointed in myself that I settled for being an MA and that I didn't stick out trying to go to nursing school...but I think I'm in a good place right now in that I can still finish school and get my RN...but in the meantime I'm content in a job I like, getting experience that I couldn't have gotten anywhere else, working with great people...even to the point that I'm totally fine waiting a year or so to go back to school.
Anyhoo, all of that to say life is good for now.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
monotastic
So I still have mono. I wish I had something more interesting to write about. Honestly I'm exhausted and am trying to keep myself awake. I know I'm supposed to sleep when I'm tired, but it's getting to where I'm not sleepy at night if I sleep too much during the day, so I'm taking that as a sign I'm getting better...so I can make myself stay awake during the day some. I think the key now is resting more without sleeping.
It's just so frustrating. I don't even consider myself living a intense lifestyle or anything like that...so the fact that I'm still too tired to go about my everyday activities is a little hard for me. That I can't just up and run to the mall if I want to, that I can't even work a full day...its so annoying. The thing about it all is that I don't necessarily feel bad doing the activities or normal stuff even, but when I get home I am worn out and that's when I get fevers...which will prolong this whole thing.
It's lonely too. I mean I live a pretty solitary life, by choice. Do I always enjoy it...no. But normally it's my decision and if I wanted to I could go out and change it, but now that I can't just go out and do something it sucks. Sometimes I just wish someone could just come watch a movie with me or something...but most people are weary to be around me...granted I'm not contagious. It's a little frustrating to me, but I have to keep in mind that I work in a profession where I'm around sick people all the time, so it doesn't really bother me (probably how I got here to begin with though), but not everyone is used to that and it does sound scary and the "im not contagious" probably isn't that convincing. Here is the deal...at this point I am only contagious when I have a fever over 101. I also just finished a zpack to catch anything else just in case. I caught mono probably in the last few days of my externship, there was a girl who was positive for mono and I was in the room with her for a little while, so chances are she coughed and I caught it. It's not likely that mono is airborn, but it's possible...and considering I know I didn't share a drink with her or anything seems to be the way I caught it. But she had a fever, and was in the beginning of the illness. I've probably already had it 2-3 weeks.
On the semi plus side/superficial negative...my appetite is coming back. I have now been eating a staggering 2 meals a day. neither one is big, I've been utilizing kids menus a lot...but it's nice to want to eat more. Although the weight loss was nice too. It's funny because for a while there, it was more important that I eat and I wasn't hungry I was pretty much letting myself eat anything i remotely wanted no matter how bad it was for me...I rationalized that I needed to eat and I wasn't eating a lot so I let myself, but I'm trying to watch that a little more now, because that will probably add back up quickly.
I go back to the doctor next week. That's when she decides whether or not I'm ready to go back to a regular work schedule. I'm hoping I can, but I have a feeling she's going to make me wait one more week. I'm not sure what she'll be looking for to make that decision, but I just feel so bad that my work is bending over backwards to accommodate me, but at the same time I know if I rush back to a full schedule that i could potentially make this worse and cause a relapse.
anyhoo, I'm off to get dinner
It's just so frustrating. I don't even consider myself living a intense lifestyle or anything like that...so the fact that I'm still too tired to go about my everyday activities is a little hard for me. That I can't just up and run to the mall if I want to, that I can't even work a full day...its so annoying. The thing about it all is that I don't necessarily feel bad doing the activities or normal stuff even, but when I get home I am worn out and that's when I get fevers...which will prolong this whole thing.
It's lonely too. I mean I live a pretty solitary life, by choice. Do I always enjoy it...no. But normally it's my decision and if I wanted to I could go out and change it, but now that I can't just go out and do something it sucks. Sometimes I just wish someone could just come watch a movie with me or something...but most people are weary to be around me...granted I'm not contagious. It's a little frustrating to me, but I have to keep in mind that I work in a profession where I'm around sick people all the time, so it doesn't really bother me (probably how I got here to begin with though), but not everyone is used to that and it does sound scary and the "im not contagious" probably isn't that convincing. Here is the deal...at this point I am only contagious when I have a fever over 101. I also just finished a zpack to catch anything else just in case. I caught mono probably in the last few days of my externship, there was a girl who was positive for mono and I was in the room with her for a little while, so chances are she coughed and I caught it. It's not likely that mono is airborn, but it's possible...and considering I know I didn't share a drink with her or anything seems to be the way I caught it. But she had a fever, and was in the beginning of the illness. I've probably already had it 2-3 weeks.
On the semi plus side/superficial negative...my appetite is coming back. I have now been eating a staggering 2 meals a day. neither one is big, I've been utilizing kids menus a lot...but it's nice to want to eat more. Although the weight loss was nice too. It's funny because for a while there, it was more important that I eat and I wasn't hungry I was pretty much letting myself eat anything i remotely wanted no matter how bad it was for me...I rationalized that I needed to eat and I wasn't eating a lot so I let myself, but I'm trying to watch that a little more now, because that will probably add back up quickly.
I go back to the doctor next week. That's when she decides whether or not I'm ready to go back to a regular work schedule. I'm hoping I can, but I have a feeling she's going to make me wait one more week. I'm not sure what she'll be looking for to make that decision, but I just feel so bad that my work is bending over backwards to accommodate me, but at the same time I know if I rush back to a full schedule that i could potentially make this worse and cause a relapse.
anyhoo, I'm off to get dinner
Friday, July 17, 2009
The saga is OVER!!!
I FINALLY know what is wrong with me. I have mononucleosis (mono). I'm not sure if it's related to when I got sick before in June, but I took a blood test wednesday and the results were definitely mono for now.
Long story short (seriously, I don't really feel like writing). Monday I had an epiphany that I had never really felt "normal" since I had been sick before. My appetite has never gone back to normal...I'm always tired, which I attributed to work...but realized that it is not normal, and my lymph nodes are HUGE. I had noticed in the last 2 weeks that once I got home at night I would run a low grade fever, granted your temp goes up at night naturally, but not to 99+. So I wound up going back to the doctor I saw before, even though I now have insurance, I figured this was more of a "follow up"...he wasn't much help though, he just said I probably had mono, before that didnt get diagnosed, but there was nothing to do, so I went on with life.
Tuesday I felt worse, and wednesday I felt even worse, so I asked to leave work early and went straight to the doctor. She took blood and here we are...monoland. She also said I'm anemic...way to kick me when I'm down body.
This is all making me crazy though. I am sleeping a lot, but I know I have to go back to work monday, so I don't want to get too used to sleeping all day. I'm a little stressed, the only thing really you can do for mono is rest, but I don't really have a lifestyle where that is possible. My work is being so great about all this, I feel awful...it's just between life in general, work, I have my certification test coming next week...I don't have time for this. My doctor said we are taking this one week at a time, so after a week we'll evaluate how im feeling and how much I can handle. She also gave me steroids to help with my energy...I'm nervous about taking them, I'm not so much wanting to bulk up....I mean I just lost 12 pounds thanks to mono, not really looking to gain it back.
anyhoo, thats what is going on peeps...
Long story short (seriously, I don't really feel like writing). Monday I had an epiphany that I had never really felt "normal" since I had been sick before. My appetite has never gone back to normal...I'm always tired, which I attributed to work...but realized that it is not normal, and my lymph nodes are HUGE. I had noticed in the last 2 weeks that once I got home at night I would run a low grade fever, granted your temp goes up at night naturally, but not to 99+. So I wound up going back to the doctor I saw before, even though I now have insurance, I figured this was more of a "follow up"...he wasn't much help though, he just said I probably had mono, before that didnt get diagnosed, but there was nothing to do, so I went on with life.
Tuesday I felt worse, and wednesday I felt even worse, so I asked to leave work early and went straight to the doctor. She took blood and here we are...monoland. She also said I'm anemic...way to kick me when I'm down body.
This is all making me crazy though. I am sleeping a lot, but I know I have to go back to work monday, so I don't want to get too used to sleeping all day. I'm a little stressed, the only thing really you can do for mono is rest, but I don't really have a lifestyle where that is possible. My work is being so great about all this, I feel awful...it's just between life in general, work, I have my certification test coming next week...I don't have time for this. My doctor said we are taking this one week at a time, so after a week we'll evaluate how im feeling and how much I can handle. She also gave me steroids to help with my energy...I'm nervous about taking them, I'm not so much wanting to bulk up....I mean I just lost 12 pounds thanks to mono, not really looking to gain it back.
anyhoo, thats what is going on peeps...
Saturday, July 11, 2009
If you break down...
"Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy"
-Patty Griffin
This song doesn't really fit what I'm about to say either...but it was the only song I could think of related to car trouble...even though I'm pretty sure it's more metaphorical in the song...and I couldn't think of a song related to my stubborness either.
So for the last...I don't know...really long time my car has had this "quirk". I have had trouble getting it out of park. You know how you have to break to change gears, well, in my car it sometimes took a few tries to get the break and gear shift to agree and change, but I had the hang of it, it just took a special little kick to get it to work. It was something I knew I needed to get fixed, but honestly as long as I could get it to work...it wasn't a urgent need...and money had elsewhere to go. You see I was convinced that this problem would cost hundreds of dollars to fix...I mean it was something about the breaks and gears that just sounds complicated.
So today, actually this morning, I really had nothing to do, until I remembered I needed to go to the bank...so I look at the clock and it was 11am...the bank closes at 12. No big deal, I head out the door and get in the car...turn it on...start the ipod...hit the break...and try the shift...nothing...kick try again...nothing...kick...shift...nothing. I get a little frustrated and take a break. Try again...nothing...and again...nothing. I'll save you the rest of the commentary, but this went on for almost an hour and I was almost in tears. So I decided that IF I could get it started I was going to have to suck it up and take it in...and if I didn't, I was going to have to get it towed, but I couldn't take a chance that this could happen before work. Finally, what I am convinced was going to be my last try...it worked. So now I'm thinking...now that I finally got this to work I can't stop anywhere...what if that happens again. So I call my mom to see if she can call Honda dealerships to see if one is open for me to go to. So she gets me in but I have to go all the way over by her house.
Moral of the story is that after 15 minutes and $50 later...my car is fixed. I have been holding out on fixing this for months...Seriously?!
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
But if you break down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy"
-Patty Griffin
This song doesn't really fit what I'm about to say either...but it was the only song I could think of related to car trouble...even though I'm pretty sure it's more metaphorical in the song...and I couldn't think of a song related to my stubborness either.
So for the last...I don't know...really long time my car has had this "quirk". I have had trouble getting it out of park. You know how you have to break to change gears, well, in my car it sometimes took a few tries to get the break and gear shift to agree and change, but I had the hang of it, it just took a special little kick to get it to work. It was something I knew I needed to get fixed, but honestly as long as I could get it to work...it wasn't a urgent need...and money had elsewhere to go. You see I was convinced that this problem would cost hundreds of dollars to fix...I mean it was something about the breaks and gears that just sounds complicated.
So today, actually this morning, I really had nothing to do, until I remembered I needed to go to the bank...so I look at the clock and it was 11am...the bank closes at 12. No big deal, I head out the door and get in the car...turn it on...start the ipod...hit the break...and try the shift...nothing...kick try again...nothing...kick...shift...nothing. I get a little frustrated and take a break. Try again...nothing...and again...nothing. I'll save you the rest of the commentary, but this went on for almost an hour and I was almost in tears. So I decided that IF I could get it started I was going to have to suck it up and take it in...and if I didn't, I was going to have to get it towed, but I couldn't take a chance that this could happen before work. Finally, what I am convinced was going to be my last try...it worked. So now I'm thinking...now that I finally got this to work I can't stop anywhere...what if that happens again. So I call my mom to see if she can call Honda dealerships to see if one is open for me to go to. So she gets me in but I have to go all the way over by her house.
Moral of the story is that after 15 minutes and $50 later...my car is fixed. I have been holding out on fixing this for months...Seriously?!
Monday, June 29, 2009
The Honeymoon is over
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry? -Kelly Clarkson
Maybe those lyrics are a little extreme. But that's kinda how I feel right now. I mean everything is fine. But I don't know, I just feel blah. As I'm sitting here it's raining and thundering like crazy, it's kinda funny to me because thats like my mood. All day it was bright and sunny outside, then I get home and the clouds darken and then rain comes down, and thats kida what happened today. A while back when things were a little bit harder sister noted that my moods tend to swing when the weather does, and although that is an actual disorder, I don't think I have that, but I guess there is some truth to it.
Don't get me wrong, I am still loving life, loving my job and all that, I'm just having a "day" if you will. I had a harder day at work. Nothing in particular, I just get frustrated when I feel like I'm not catching on...like my facebook status says right now "I didn't bring my a-game today" I told someone I think the honeymoon period is over, the newness of my job is wearing off and the mistakes that were once more ok because I was new are not so much anymore, I feel like I need to not lean on the "new" crutch anymore. Granted, there are lots of things that I am still new at, and nobody has said anything to me...this is all my own personal meanderings. I guess just knowing that I did not originally get this job based on experience scares me and I know they took a chance by coming back to me anyway, and so I feel pressure because I don't want to let anyone down...I don't want them to regret picking me. I almost didn't post this because I am now friends with people from work on facebook, so there is a chance they will read this, but sometimes you have to weigh the good with the bad...and I guess right now I just need to get all this out and vent per se. And honestly, I don't think any of this has to do with my melancholy-ness...but I'm just in a mood I guess. Tomorrow can only get better right?
Then...in the style of how things go in my life...I had to change some accounts to online so that they wouldn't charge me for paper billing, and I have to have it done by tomorrow, so clearly I waited until now. Anyhoo, So I sign on put in my account number...when it asks some security questions...the first question "where did george rodabaugh (my dad) live or own land?" How the crap am I supposed to know that? the man is dead, and before that I couldn't tell you the last time I talked to him, or knew his whereabouts. I called my sister and we tried the process of elimination...and got it WRONG...I still don't know the answer, it told me I was wrong and blocked me from my own accounts. Long story short I got it taken care of, but seriously, if these creepers are going to use that kind of info, maybe they should make sure they know whats going on. It really creeped me out to think about what all the powers that be must know about me. Do they know I can't sleep with my hair in a ponytail? OR that I have a freckle under my big toe on my right foot?
On top of everything I have a cold. Apparently working for a dr. you can expect to be sick the first month or so...bring it.
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry? -Kelly Clarkson
Maybe those lyrics are a little extreme. But that's kinda how I feel right now. I mean everything is fine. But I don't know, I just feel blah. As I'm sitting here it's raining and thundering like crazy, it's kinda funny to me because thats like my mood. All day it was bright and sunny outside, then I get home and the clouds darken and then rain comes down, and thats kida what happened today. A while back when things were a little bit harder sister noted that my moods tend to swing when the weather does, and although that is an actual disorder, I don't think I have that, but I guess there is some truth to it.
Don't get me wrong, I am still loving life, loving my job and all that, I'm just having a "day" if you will. I had a harder day at work. Nothing in particular, I just get frustrated when I feel like I'm not catching on...like my facebook status says right now "I didn't bring my a-game today" I told someone I think the honeymoon period is over, the newness of my job is wearing off and the mistakes that were once more ok because I was new are not so much anymore, I feel like I need to not lean on the "new" crutch anymore. Granted, there are lots of things that I am still new at, and nobody has said anything to me...this is all my own personal meanderings. I guess just knowing that I did not originally get this job based on experience scares me and I know they took a chance by coming back to me anyway, and so I feel pressure because I don't want to let anyone down...I don't want them to regret picking me. I almost didn't post this because I am now friends with people from work on facebook, so there is a chance they will read this, but sometimes you have to weigh the good with the bad...and I guess right now I just need to get all this out and vent per se. And honestly, I don't think any of this has to do with my melancholy-ness...but I'm just in a mood I guess. Tomorrow can only get better right?
Then...in the style of how things go in my life...I had to change some accounts to online so that they wouldn't charge me for paper billing, and I have to have it done by tomorrow, so clearly I waited until now. Anyhoo, So I sign on put in my account number...when it asks some security questions...the first question "where did george rodabaugh (my dad) live or own land?" How the crap am I supposed to know that? the man is dead, and before that I couldn't tell you the last time I talked to him, or knew his whereabouts. I called my sister and we tried the process of elimination...and got it WRONG...I still don't know the answer, it told me I was wrong and blocked me from my own accounts. Long story short I got it taken care of, but seriously, if these creepers are going to use that kind of info, maybe they should make sure they know whats going on. It really creeped me out to think about what all the powers that be must know about me. Do they know I can't sleep with my hair in a ponytail? OR that I have a freckle under my big toe on my right foot?
On top of everything I have a cold. Apparently working for a dr. you can expect to be sick the first month or so...bring it.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
the never ending illness
Ok, so many of you (ok the 3 of you that read this...) have asked why I was sick all the time last week. Especially with the references to tylenol with codeine. And for I while I was being secretive about it because I was embarrassed... but I'm just going to put it out there now. This is going to be long and boring if you don't like stories about random medical drama as much as I do...
OK I guess it all started 2 weeks ago tomorrow (thursday). I hadn't started working yet and I had to go to the main hospital to get a shot, tb test and do some paper work before I started working the next monday. No big deal, I wound up needing a tetanus shot, which is one that does normally hurt, but I'm a big girl, I wasn't worried. I got my shot, and life was good.
2 days later (saturday) I woke up not feeling good, I was achy, I felt flu-ish, but didn't think I had a fever or anything. I knew tetanus caused soreness at the injection site, but wasn't really ready for the whole body aches, but I googled side effects for the Tdap (the shot I got) and flu like symptoms was one, so I wasn't too worried, I was sure that was what it was from.
side note funny story is that I turn into a big baby when I don't feel good, and so I decided I didn't feel good enough to leave my house to get food and called my mom to see if she could bring me food...I told her I hadn't eaten since the day before, lunch time the day before at that...but her answer was that she was tired...and if she could bring me something to eat the next day (sunday). I was like "I mean I haven't eaten since yesterday, but cool whatever" slightly sarcastic right? and her answer was "ok just call me tomorrow"...so now I don't feel good, I'm hungry, and I'm annoyed with my mother.
So now it's sunday, I tried to trick myself into thinking I was feeling better because I knew regardless my first day of work was the next day (monday) but really I still didn't feel good, and I was starting to doubt my googled diagnosis...but really what else could it be was my thought at that point. After pleading with my mother to bring me that meal she had promised me...I finally ate, and noticed that my mouth hurt...my gums hurt, i felt like i was developing a cold sore, but figured it was all coincidence...besides I HAD to feel better, I was starting my dream job in less than 24 hours.
So now it's Monday morning, I am up and excitedly getting ready for work...in the back of my mind knowing I really didn't feel good. And now was also developing a large cold sore IN THE MIDDLE OF MY TONGUE!!! I didn't even know that was possible. Brushing my teeth was excruciating, and eating was no longer an option. I went to work, luckily being my first day I did a lot of sitting and observing, so it wasn't too obvious that I didn't feel good, even though the big baby in me did have to whine once and a while. Throughout the day I also started to notice my lymph nodes were really swollen...so now I was pretty positive that it had nothing to do with the shots, and possibly more to do with the all out war going on in my mouth with now ANOTHER coldsore developing (thats 3 if you lost count) but really had no clue that something was really making me sick.
I made it through the day, it wasn't too bad, but as soon as I got in my car and was going home I felt like death was upon me. I had previously been hungry, and was now trying to think of something I could eat with this new found mouth pain...and I was more and more not feeling like eating at all (but I hadn't eaten all day, other than a few chicken nuggets from chick fil a that I forced myself to eat). So I resolved I was buying a thermometer, you see I never owned one before, I have never had much use for one. So I get my thermometer...and some tylenol (I don't really know why, maybe it was intuition). It's a cool thermometer, normal range it turns green, moderate yellow, and if it's a bad fever it turns red. So I pop it out and try it. 8 seconds later it turned red and I looked it said 101.9. I rarely get fevers and I hadn't really felt "feverish" so I was shocked. I started thinking, "do you have to calibrate a digital thermometer?" so I call my friend Jenn, who loves thermometers...and no, you don't I really had a fever. So I get some chicken noodle soup and to home I went. I took my tylenol and was asleep by 7.
I started to worry, I HAD to be better by the next day, I was not calling in on the 2nd day, plus the office manager had gone out of her way to get a training switched so I could take it that day instead of waiting until mid july when they had scheduled me. Luckily I woke up once and a while and with tylenol the fever was dropping.
Tuesday morning I woke up and my temp was 99.1 so I popped more tylenol and went off to the training, just happy to not have a fever anymore. Eating was still quite a task though, I was miserable, I was so hungry because I hadn't really had a full meal for almost 4 days at this point (even when I ate I never could eat more than a few bites). I spent the day in meetings but obviously my mind wandered about my random illness. It doesn't help that I watch a lot of discovery health shows like "mystery diagnosis" where people have random symptoms then wind up having some crazy unheard of disease.
As my mind wandered I realized something...technically a cold sore is "herpes" not the same as the STD, but it's a virus. Surely a virus could cause all the symptoms I had. So at the first break I got I googled it on my phone. And that had to be it, I had to have herpes. I was disgusted, how on earth did I get that, I don't even like sharing drinks with people. But in my research since I have learned that most people have herpes simplex 1 (oral herpes) it just happens. So I am still miserable, but at least I really feel like I knew what was wrong. Unfortunately I still do not have insurance at this point, so I was just going to have to suck it up for 2 weeks while it healed.
I kept track of my temp. it hovered in the 99 range...but there wasn't much I could do. So Wednesday came, I was STILL starving, and resorted to smoothies, but it was still painful. Come wednesday night. I came home from work, when the crap feeling came back...I started vomiting...and considering my last real meal was the friday before, I started worrying I was dehydrated. I checked the trusty old temp...102.3. I am not sure I ever had a fever that high (my mom was never a big believer in having practical medical supplies at home). And I start crying because I didn't know what to do, it was 10 pm, I couldn't keep tylenol down, I still did not see calling into work as an option...I was running out of choices. So I called trusty mom and demand she come get me and take me to a urgent care place. She tried to resist, but when I cry she can't tell me no (I do not cry that much around her, so I'm not using it...at that point it was legit tears).
So she got to me around 11:30 (she lives 45 minutes away...and is the slowest driver ever). I had already found a place that was open 24 hours...so i told her where to go. Luckily for me my cold sores were the biggest emergency at this place so I was seen right away. It's a little weird for me to go to the dr. especially now that I work for one, and so when I went in and the guy (I'm not sure if he was a MA or LVN or RN) started answering questions, I told him my temp, that I knew what was wrong, and that I needed some antiviral so I could go home got to bed and be ready for work the next morning. I now look back and realize I was slightly ridiculous...I think my brain was starting to fry.
The dr came in, looked in my mouth and told me I was right with my diagnosis (DUH!...I googled it). he asked me about the pain and said he was going to give me pain killers and asked if I had ever had vicodin...I haven't but I'm still thinking I'm working the next day, so I talked him down to tylenol with codeine (I have never had a pain killer at all in my life, so I had no idea how I would react). He broke the news to me that I was not going to work the next day...I fought it for a little while, but kinda realized that was probably a good idea...besides at work I wasn't self sufficient yet, so it wasn't like they were "really" losing a person, if that makes sense...but I still did not want to call in my first week of work. So I had my Rx for the tylenol, a mouthwash with lidocane, and an antiviral med and went home.
After they gave me a dose of the tylenol I was out...I barely remember waking up to call into work. I slept all day Thursday.
Friday I had another orientation, luckily the pain had subsided enough to go, I still couldn't eat, but at least at that point I knew it was getting better. I decided since I couldn't drive when I took the tylenol it would be best to spend the weekend at my moms, mostly so she could bring me food, I'm not going to lie...I was STILL starving (people, it had been a week at this point since I took more than 3 bites of something). And so she could take care of Libby, because I felt bad that I didn't even want to drag myself out of bed to walk her.
So thats pretty much it, I am completely better now, as of monday I have been eating solid food, I actually get to enjoy my new job...and my mouth is back to being cold sore free...thank god! I still don't know what brought on this little outbreak. I have had a cold sore before but never more than one, and I've never actually gotten sick from them. People keep saying stress, but for once in my life I'm REALLY not stressed, I love my job, things are falling into place...so who knows, but i'm glad I'm over it. But it is driving me a little crazy that I don't know what caused it, so I'm scared it could come back.
Gross.
OK I guess it all started 2 weeks ago tomorrow (thursday). I hadn't started working yet and I had to go to the main hospital to get a shot, tb test and do some paper work before I started working the next monday. No big deal, I wound up needing a tetanus shot, which is one that does normally hurt, but I'm a big girl, I wasn't worried. I got my shot, and life was good.
2 days later (saturday) I woke up not feeling good, I was achy, I felt flu-ish, but didn't think I had a fever or anything. I knew tetanus caused soreness at the injection site, but wasn't really ready for the whole body aches, but I googled side effects for the Tdap (the shot I got) and flu like symptoms was one, so I wasn't too worried, I was sure that was what it was from.
side note funny story is that I turn into a big baby when I don't feel good, and so I decided I didn't feel good enough to leave my house to get food and called my mom to see if she could bring me food...I told her I hadn't eaten since the day before, lunch time the day before at that...but her answer was that she was tired...and if she could bring me something to eat the next day (sunday). I was like "I mean I haven't eaten since yesterday, but cool whatever" slightly sarcastic right? and her answer was "ok just call me tomorrow"...so now I don't feel good, I'm hungry, and I'm annoyed with my mother.
So now it's sunday, I tried to trick myself into thinking I was feeling better because I knew regardless my first day of work was the next day (monday) but really I still didn't feel good, and I was starting to doubt my googled diagnosis...but really what else could it be was my thought at that point. After pleading with my mother to bring me that meal she had promised me...I finally ate, and noticed that my mouth hurt...my gums hurt, i felt like i was developing a cold sore, but figured it was all coincidence...besides I HAD to feel better, I was starting my dream job in less than 24 hours.
So now it's Monday morning, I am up and excitedly getting ready for work...in the back of my mind knowing I really didn't feel good. And now was also developing a large cold sore IN THE MIDDLE OF MY TONGUE!!! I didn't even know that was possible. Brushing my teeth was excruciating, and eating was no longer an option. I went to work, luckily being my first day I did a lot of sitting and observing, so it wasn't too obvious that I didn't feel good, even though the big baby in me did have to whine once and a while. Throughout the day I also started to notice my lymph nodes were really swollen...so now I was pretty positive that it had nothing to do with the shots, and possibly more to do with the all out war going on in my mouth with now ANOTHER coldsore developing (thats 3 if you lost count) but really had no clue that something was really making me sick.
I made it through the day, it wasn't too bad, but as soon as I got in my car and was going home I felt like death was upon me. I had previously been hungry, and was now trying to think of something I could eat with this new found mouth pain...and I was more and more not feeling like eating at all (but I hadn't eaten all day, other than a few chicken nuggets from chick fil a that I forced myself to eat). So I resolved I was buying a thermometer, you see I never owned one before, I have never had much use for one. So I get my thermometer...and some tylenol (I don't really know why, maybe it was intuition). It's a cool thermometer, normal range it turns green, moderate yellow, and if it's a bad fever it turns red. So I pop it out and try it. 8 seconds later it turned red and I looked it said 101.9. I rarely get fevers and I hadn't really felt "feverish" so I was shocked. I started thinking, "do you have to calibrate a digital thermometer?" so I call my friend Jenn, who loves thermometers...and no, you don't I really had a fever. So I get some chicken noodle soup and to home I went. I took my tylenol and was asleep by 7.
I started to worry, I HAD to be better by the next day, I was not calling in on the 2nd day, plus the office manager had gone out of her way to get a training switched so I could take it that day instead of waiting until mid july when they had scheduled me. Luckily I woke up once and a while and with tylenol the fever was dropping.
Tuesday morning I woke up and my temp was 99.1 so I popped more tylenol and went off to the training, just happy to not have a fever anymore. Eating was still quite a task though, I was miserable, I was so hungry because I hadn't really had a full meal for almost 4 days at this point (even when I ate I never could eat more than a few bites). I spent the day in meetings but obviously my mind wandered about my random illness. It doesn't help that I watch a lot of discovery health shows like "mystery diagnosis" where people have random symptoms then wind up having some crazy unheard of disease.
As my mind wandered I realized something...technically a cold sore is "herpes" not the same as the STD, but it's a virus. Surely a virus could cause all the symptoms I had. So at the first break I got I googled it on my phone. And that had to be it, I had to have herpes. I was disgusted, how on earth did I get that, I don't even like sharing drinks with people. But in my research since I have learned that most people have herpes simplex 1 (oral herpes) it just happens. So I am still miserable, but at least I really feel like I knew what was wrong. Unfortunately I still do not have insurance at this point, so I was just going to have to suck it up for 2 weeks while it healed.
I kept track of my temp. it hovered in the 99 range...but there wasn't much I could do. So Wednesday came, I was STILL starving, and resorted to smoothies, but it was still painful. Come wednesday night. I came home from work, when the crap feeling came back...I started vomiting...and considering my last real meal was the friday before, I started worrying I was dehydrated. I checked the trusty old temp...102.3. I am not sure I ever had a fever that high (my mom was never a big believer in having practical medical supplies at home). And I start crying because I didn't know what to do, it was 10 pm, I couldn't keep tylenol down, I still did not see calling into work as an option...I was running out of choices. So I called trusty mom and demand she come get me and take me to a urgent care place. She tried to resist, but when I cry she can't tell me no (I do not cry that much around her, so I'm not using it...at that point it was legit tears).
So she got to me around 11:30 (she lives 45 minutes away...and is the slowest driver ever). I had already found a place that was open 24 hours...so i told her where to go. Luckily for me my cold sores were the biggest emergency at this place so I was seen right away. It's a little weird for me to go to the dr. especially now that I work for one, and so when I went in and the guy (I'm not sure if he was a MA or LVN or RN) started answering questions, I told him my temp, that I knew what was wrong, and that I needed some antiviral so I could go home got to bed and be ready for work the next morning. I now look back and realize I was slightly ridiculous...I think my brain was starting to fry.
The dr came in, looked in my mouth and told me I was right with my diagnosis (DUH!...I googled it). he asked me about the pain and said he was going to give me pain killers and asked if I had ever had vicodin...I haven't but I'm still thinking I'm working the next day, so I talked him down to tylenol with codeine (I have never had a pain killer at all in my life, so I had no idea how I would react). He broke the news to me that I was not going to work the next day...I fought it for a little while, but kinda realized that was probably a good idea...besides at work I wasn't self sufficient yet, so it wasn't like they were "really" losing a person, if that makes sense...but I still did not want to call in my first week of work. So I had my Rx for the tylenol, a mouthwash with lidocane, and an antiviral med and went home.
After they gave me a dose of the tylenol I was out...I barely remember waking up to call into work. I slept all day Thursday.
Friday I had another orientation, luckily the pain had subsided enough to go, I still couldn't eat, but at least at that point I knew it was getting better. I decided since I couldn't drive when I took the tylenol it would be best to spend the weekend at my moms, mostly so she could bring me food, I'm not going to lie...I was STILL starving (people, it had been a week at this point since I took more than 3 bites of something). And so she could take care of Libby, because I felt bad that I didn't even want to drag myself out of bed to walk her.
So thats pretty much it, I am completely better now, as of monday I have been eating solid food, I actually get to enjoy my new job...and my mouth is back to being cold sore free...thank god! I still don't know what brought on this little outbreak. I have had a cold sore before but never more than one, and I've never actually gotten sick from them. People keep saying stress, but for once in my life I'm REALLY not stressed, I love my job, things are falling into place...so who knows, but i'm glad I'm over it. But it is driving me a little crazy that I don't know what caused it, so I'm scared it could come back.
Gross.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
On the Ride
"Life has moments hard to describe
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on
Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain were on
The view is so clear
And it's crazy up here
Life is amazing with you on the ride"
On the ride- Aly and AJ
My facebook status says that I am studying...so clearly I am blogging.
Life has been so crazy lately. Right now the biggest thing is that I got my dream job. I am working for Texas Children's Pediatric Associates in Cinco Ranch. Basically, it's a pediatricians office associated with Texas Children' Hospital. But getting this job was no small feat. I think it was the longest interview process I have ever been through. OK, maybe it wasn't that long, but it feels like it took For-ev-er. It was all complicated by a phone call about 2 week ago. I got a call that I did not get the job. I was really disappointed but I got an offer to interview at the Katy office...so I went and did that interview. A week later they wanted me to meet with that dr. little did I know going into that meeting that I had already gotten the job, they just wanted us to meet before I started...it was funny because the dr. kept referring to "when you start" and what "we would do" and when I talked I was very cautious to say "if I get this job" but apparently I had missed the call offering me the job before I went int that morning for the meeting.
Anyhoo, I left there feeling good, but the Katy office never felt the same as the Cinco Ranch office. I thought there was nothing I could do about it, I was just going to have to get used to the Katy office, because as far as I was concerned Cinco Ranch was no longer an option. I liked the Katy office, it was just so much bigger (there are 5 dr's versus 3 in Cinco Ranch) and the Katy office is actually in a hospital while Cinco is free standing. So Wednesday afternoon, I was home relaxing, I had just finished my externship that morning, and since I didn't have a job I was taking advantage of the downtime. Around 3 I got the call, it was from the HR dept in Texas Childrens. So I answered and the girl started talking about offering me both positions. I was shocked and confused since like I said I thought Cinco ranch was no longer an option. She had gone into the spiel about benefits and
I was still stuck in my head on the fact that she said "both offices wanted to hire me" so finally I found a break in the conversation to ask about it. I asked "I'm sorry I'm just really confused right now, I thought I didn't get the cinco ranch job?" thats when she told me that they had offered the job to someone else but it didn't work out so they wanted me.
My pride was a little hurt by being the second choice...I was even tempted to take the Katy office for that reason but I thought about it more. The reason I was given about the Cinco office was that it was a new office and since I was new it would be a little harder to train me. So the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was good that I was the second choice, because, it makes no logical sense for them to hire me. I'm sure there were others that had more experience than me, thats not hard seeing as I have no experience. But they like me enough that they don't care and they are willing to take that chance on me. So, I took the Cinco Ranch position. I am really excited. Right now I am waiting for my criminal background check to clear before I can start working. So I'm enjoying a little vacay before my life is about to get crazy.
And thats pretty much where I am now, just waiting. I'm so happy about where my life is going right now. I am finally starting a career I love. I have my first 401k, I worked really hard and it's paying off that I got my dream job right out of school. I'm a little nervous that things are going to well. Part of me (the pessimistic part that is) is a little worried that if I am getting my dream job now, then where do I go from here. But I still want to go back to school to get my RN, so I feel like that leaves plenty of room for growth.
I really need to be studying for my certification exam. It's in the end of July, but I have already been out of school for a month and it's a little scary how much I have already forgotten. Especially now that I am in pediatrics, it's really important that I remember the normal ranges for adults...And the more specifics that I don't deal with everyday...the parts of the body...front office stuff...insurance. So I am trying to study now and just keep it all in my head instead of panicking and having to cram before the exam.
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain we're on
Always knowing we're gonna be fine
Feeling great and feeling alive
Never coming down from this
Mountain were on
The view is so clear
And it's crazy up here
Life is amazing with you on the ride"
On the ride- Aly and AJ
My facebook status says that I am studying...so clearly I am blogging.
Life has been so crazy lately. Right now the biggest thing is that I got my dream job. I am working for Texas Children's Pediatric Associates in Cinco Ranch. Basically, it's a pediatricians office associated with Texas Children' Hospital. But getting this job was no small feat. I think it was the longest interview process I have ever been through. OK, maybe it wasn't that long, but it feels like it took For-ev-er. It was all complicated by a phone call about 2 week ago. I got a call that I did not get the job. I was really disappointed but I got an offer to interview at the Katy office...so I went and did that interview. A week later they wanted me to meet with that dr. little did I know going into that meeting that I had already gotten the job, they just wanted us to meet before I started...it was funny because the dr. kept referring to "when you start" and what "we would do" and when I talked I was very cautious to say "if I get this job" but apparently I had missed the call offering me the job before I went int that morning for the meeting.
Anyhoo, I left there feeling good, but the Katy office never felt the same as the Cinco Ranch office. I thought there was nothing I could do about it, I was just going to have to get used to the Katy office, because as far as I was concerned Cinco Ranch was no longer an option. I liked the Katy office, it was just so much bigger (there are 5 dr's versus 3 in Cinco Ranch) and the Katy office is actually in a hospital while Cinco is free standing. So Wednesday afternoon, I was home relaxing, I had just finished my externship that morning, and since I didn't have a job I was taking advantage of the downtime. Around 3 I got the call, it was from the HR dept in Texas Childrens. So I answered and the girl started talking about offering me both positions. I was shocked and confused since like I said I thought Cinco ranch was no longer an option. She had gone into the spiel about benefits and
I was still stuck in my head on the fact that she said "both offices wanted to hire me" so finally I found a break in the conversation to ask about it. I asked "I'm sorry I'm just really confused right now, I thought I didn't get the cinco ranch job?" thats when she told me that they had offered the job to someone else but it didn't work out so they wanted me.
My pride was a little hurt by being the second choice...I was even tempted to take the Katy office for that reason but I thought about it more. The reason I was given about the Cinco office was that it was a new office and since I was new it would be a little harder to train me. So the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was good that I was the second choice, because, it makes no logical sense for them to hire me. I'm sure there were others that had more experience than me, thats not hard seeing as I have no experience. But they like me enough that they don't care and they are willing to take that chance on me. So, I took the Cinco Ranch position. I am really excited. Right now I am waiting for my criminal background check to clear before I can start working. So I'm enjoying a little vacay before my life is about to get crazy.
And thats pretty much where I am now, just waiting. I'm so happy about where my life is going right now. I am finally starting a career I love. I have my first 401k, I worked really hard and it's paying off that I got my dream job right out of school. I'm a little nervous that things are going to well. Part of me (the pessimistic part that is) is a little worried that if I am getting my dream job now, then where do I go from here. But I still want to go back to school to get my RN, so I feel like that leaves plenty of room for growth.
I really need to be studying for my certification exam. It's in the end of July, but I have already been out of school for a month and it's a little scary how much I have already forgotten. Especially now that I am in pediatrics, it's really important that I remember the normal ranges for adults...And the more specifics that I don't deal with everyday...the parts of the body...front office stuff...insurance. So I am trying to study now and just keep it all in my head instead of panicking and having to cram before the exam.
Friday, May 15, 2009
what a difference a little time makes
it has only been a little more than 2 weeks since I last wrote, but so much has changed.
The biggest thing being that I am no longer at the pediatric office. After much thought and consideration, the stress and anxiety it was giving me wasn't worth it. Plus I wasn't learning, I was sitting around stuffing envelopes and filling time because they wouldn't take the time to help me do things and it was easier to do it themselves (I feel like this is something I need to remember if I am ever a mom).
Now I am finishing the last 60 hours of my internship at a internal medicine doctor. It is like night and day. For one thing the demographic I tend to now is the geriatric crowd. I always said that I couldn't do it, and I do still think it would be hard, but at the same time yesterday I had a pt. (patient) that who made me laugh so hard. She was 80-something, and I was watching as someone else was taking her vitals. She kept looking at the girl and at me making faces. Then she proceeded to read a poster on the wall about hyperthyroidism and proceeded to tell us exactly why that sucks. Her and her husband were hilarious, and I'm not going to lie, made me a little jealous that my own parents or grandparents for that matter were nothing like that. I started thinking how fun it would be to have a mom like that...but that is a whole other blog I suppose. All of that to say I really like the office I'm at now. No, I don't think I want to stay here long term...as far as actual employees the dr. doesn't pay very well and does not offer benefits...but as far as experience this has been a much better one.
And if I took a job there I wouldn't be able to take a job with Texas Children's Hospital!!! OK, so I haven't been offered the job yet, but this last wednesday I had a second interview with them. I am REALLY excited and REALLY hope this works out. Just being in the office for the interviews, it just felt right, it's almost like this job was created for me, which is a little funny because it is a new position.
Which leads me to my other point of this blog. My life is so good right now. It's so crazy how drastically things have changed, I've learned to be at peace with myself, I'm doing something that I really love. I don't think even 2 weeks ago I could have said that. I think depression is something I will always struggle with...but I also think that I have finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel and I am ready to put this fight behind me. I hope this is not all circumstantial...I really don't think it is, but there is always that little bit of doubt that tries to sneak in and make me unsure of myself.
Sooo...with that said I think I am going to make another effort to find a church. This has been really hard for me...and even as I just typed that I am fighting the urge to delete it...because now that I have said it out loud (ok not outloud, but you know what I mean) I am accountable for it. I don't know why this has been so hard for me, but it has been. wish me luck.
The biggest thing being that I am no longer at the pediatric office. After much thought and consideration, the stress and anxiety it was giving me wasn't worth it. Plus I wasn't learning, I was sitting around stuffing envelopes and filling time because they wouldn't take the time to help me do things and it was easier to do it themselves (I feel like this is something I need to remember if I am ever a mom).
Now I am finishing the last 60 hours of my internship at a internal medicine doctor. It is like night and day. For one thing the demographic I tend to now is the geriatric crowd. I always said that I couldn't do it, and I do still think it would be hard, but at the same time yesterday I had a pt. (patient) that who made me laugh so hard. She was 80-something, and I was watching as someone else was taking her vitals. She kept looking at the girl and at me making faces. Then she proceeded to read a poster on the wall about hyperthyroidism and proceeded to tell us exactly why that sucks. Her and her husband were hilarious, and I'm not going to lie, made me a little jealous that my own parents or grandparents for that matter were nothing like that. I started thinking how fun it would be to have a mom like that...but that is a whole other blog I suppose. All of that to say I really like the office I'm at now. No, I don't think I want to stay here long term...as far as actual employees the dr. doesn't pay very well and does not offer benefits...but as far as experience this has been a much better one.
And if I took a job there I wouldn't be able to take a job with Texas Children's Hospital!!! OK, so I haven't been offered the job yet, but this last wednesday I had a second interview with them. I am REALLY excited and REALLY hope this works out. Just being in the office for the interviews, it just felt right, it's almost like this job was created for me, which is a little funny because it is a new position.
Which leads me to my other point of this blog. My life is so good right now. It's so crazy how drastically things have changed, I've learned to be at peace with myself, I'm doing something that I really love. I don't think even 2 weeks ago I could have said that. I think depression is something I will always struggle with...but I also think that I have finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel and I am ready to put this fight behind me. I hope this is not all circumstantial...I really don't think it is, but there is always that little bit of doubt that tries to sneak in and make me unsure of myself.
Sooo...with that said I think I am going to make another effort to find a church. This has been really hard for me...and even as I just typed that I am fighting the urge to delete it...because now that I have said it out loud (ok not outloud, but you know what I mean) I am accountable for it. I don't know why this has been so hard for me, but it has been. wish me luck.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
hope I can make it...
So work day number 2 went alright. I am just frustrated. I guess when I decided to go into health care, I had this perception that you got to help people and feel good about that, and that everyone would act like adults to get whatever needed to be done...done. Well I was wrong. I expected there to be standards and red tape that would make things a little harder...but I think what is more frustrating is that none of that bothers me...it's literally the people I work with, and I have only known them for 2 days now.
I came into this knowing that Dr's are a bit cocky, and don't always work well with others, but I guess the point that bothers me is that they literally think they are too good to talk to the people working for them. Not one of the dr's I work with know who I am, I thought I had accomplished something when I smiled at one and got a half smile back. But when did that become ok...to treat people who are working their butts off for you like crap. I completely respect doctors, it's a hard job, a hard job I couldn't do, I guess I just come from the school of thought that it takes respect to get respect, not that I expect them to cater to me at all...but is it too much to ask to be treated like a human being?
What is worse is the other MA's. All they have on me is a few years experience...and one of them is on externship too, and just started last week...I can understand doing dirty work, it just bothers me when the one who just started last week does it to me, I mean she has to learn too. Today I she was told to go pick up a stool sample...she turned and asked me to go get it...I did it, I know better than to say no and honestly I really don't care about the dirty work, it's more the attitude that goes with it.
Later on today one of the MAs asked me if I knew how to do a vision and hearing test, I told her no...we hadn't really talked too much about that in school, but it's easy to pick up I knew just watching someone do it once would be fine. So she told me to go with the other extern and watch her so I could learn...cool, I like learning...so I left the room to find the girl I was to watch, once I found her she needed to go back in the office to get something, so I went with her...and the MA told her to make sure I watched how to do the tests...seriously, I was right there, she saw me, it's not like I disappeared to avoid it or something...I'm not a 3rd grader, I am in this externship to learn, why would I waste my time and their time goofing off? I understand not everyone takes things seriously, but give me a chance to prove I am trying before you start assuming you know me.
What makes all this worse, is that the MA that picks on me, for those of you who work at starbucks, think Ashley...but worse, has started making me nervous to the point that I mess up more when I'm around her because I am so scared. If she would just let me figure out what I'm supposed to do and correct me without making me feel like I'm the dumbest person ever for getting whatever wrong, she would see that I am smart, I am good at what I do, and I wouldn't make dumb mistakes.
People keep telling me to not take all this personally, that it's just the politics of a dr. office, but it's so hard for me, I take everything personally, especially when things are directed at me. I hate to say it, but I can't wait until we get another student, to take the pressure off me, but I would also like to prove that not everyone is like that...that I can treat someone who is in a position "below" me with dignity and respect remembering that we all make mistakes.
I came into this knowing that Dr's are a bit cocky, and don't always work well with others, but I guess the point that bothers me is that they literally think they are too good to talk to the people working for them. Not one of the dr's I work with know who I am, I thought I had accomplished something when I smiled at one and got a half smile back. But when did that become ok...to treat people who are working their butts off for you like crap. I completely respect doctors, it's a hard job, a hard job I couldn't do, I guess I just come from the school of thought that it takes respect to get respect, not that I expect them to cater to me at all...but is it too much to ask to be treated like a human being?
What is worse is the other MA's. All they have on me is a few years experience...and one of them is on externship too, and just started last week...I can understand doing dirty work, it just bothers me when the one who just started last week does it to me, I mean she has to learn too. Today I she was told to go pick up a stool sample...she turned and asked me to go get it...I did it, I know better than to say no and honestly I really don't care about the dirty work, it's more the attitude that goes with it.
Later on today one of the MAs asked me if I knew how to do a vision and hearing test, I told her no...we hadn't really talked too much about that in school, but it's easy to pick up I knew just watching someone do it once would be fine. So she told me to go with the other extern and watch her so I could learn...cool, I like learning...so I left the room to find the girl I was to watch, once I found her she needed to go back in the office to get something, so I went with her...and the MA told her to make sure I watched how to do the tests...seriously, I was right there, she saw me, it's not like I disappeared to avoid it or something...I'm not a 3rd grader, I am in this externship to learn, why would I waste my time and their time goofing off? I understand not everyone takes things seriously, but give me a chance to prove I am trying before you start assuming you know me.
What makes all this worse, is that the MA that picks on me, for those of you who work at starbucks, think Ashley...but worse, has started making me nervous to the point that I mess up more when I'm around her because I am so scared. If she would just let me figure out what I'm supposed to do and correct me without making me feel like I'm the dumbest person ever for getting whatever wrong, she would see that I am smart, I am good at what I do, and I wouldn't make dumb mistakes.
People keep telling me to not take all this personally, that it's just the politics of a dr. office, but it's so hard for me, I take everything personally, especially when things are directed at me. I hate to say it, but I can't wait until we get another student, to take the pressure off me, but I would also like to prove that not everyone is like that...that I can treat someone who is in a position "below" me with dignity and respect remembering that we all make mistakes.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
oh what a day...
So I am not prefacing the story, i know real weird for me.
OK, so as you know I got my extern assignment last week. I started today, the rest of my class started yesterday, but my site needed a day i guess to prepare for the fun that was going to hit them.
So being that I would be working in the med center I decided to take a test drive out there on Sunday, to figure out exactly where I was going figure out parking...etc. Well I found the hospital but I had no idea about parking. I wound up giving up and went home.
Yesterday (Monday) I started thinking that I was going to have to leave REALLY early to be sure about parking, so I called the Dr. to ask for clarification...again. When I talked to her she said a street and some landmark that really made no sense, but I thought maybe once I was there it would, so I made a second test drive...with no more luck and just as confused as ever I go home again. I was starting to have a sinking feeling that something wasn't right...why would the office tell me they were on memorial south...when Memorial doesn't even go to the med center...what brown building...and there is no free parking ANYWHERE near the med center, especially with no permit. I called my mom and decided maybe it would help if she drove me, then I could focus more on looking and not on traffic, and even run in the hospital and ask for direction if needed. So we venture down there a third time, I run in the hospital and hand the guy at the reception desk my paper with my assignment and ask him the best way to get there, he looked a little confused, and told me the suite they gave me was the mail room. So he needed more details to find where I belonged, details I didn't know, I didn't have a DR. name, or apparently an address, it was after 5 so when I tried to call to find out it went to an answering service. He traced the mail room number to an office, but it still wasn't making a lot of sense. I asked him about the mysterious free parking and he said for a fact that does not exist.
So I leave again, growing more and more frustrated that nobody knows where I go including myself. On the way home I was fighting crying...partially because I was hungry and tired and cranky, on top of all this madness. I start thinking I am REALLY uneasy about it all and felt like there was no way this could end well. So I decide I need to talk to the lady who coordinates our externships. But I don't have a phone number for her...that isn't her office. So I text another teacher, and she sends me her number...which is disconnected. I'm running out of options, so I get home and after some thought remember I am myspace friends with my teacher, so as a last resort I wrote on her wall to call me, but thinking she wouldn't check that. Well luckily she did, and she called me. I told her all that had happened, and she tells me to meet her in the morning at school because that really didn't seem right and she didn't want me to go all over town since it was her fault I had the mailing address.
So this morning I get there and let her call the dr. office (at this point I was already late, and I didn't want to be the one to tell them I was late already on the first day) Well, imagine both of our surprises when we find out I had been placed in HUMBLE...which is an hour from where I live, if not more. So she politely tells them that is not going to work and that I would not be the extern for them.
So at 8am I am sitting in her office, already a day behind on my externship realizing that it might be another day or 2 before I could be placed. BUT the good thing is that I was able to in a way pick where I would wind up...so clearly I said Katy, and in pediatrics. It's funny though because now I was a little disappointed because in fixing the disappointment from not getting peds to begin with I convinced myself that cardiology was a better specialty. Oh well.
So I had my first day at Katy Pediatrics. I LOVE LOVE LOVE pediatrics. One of the first patients I helped was a little girl with down syndrome, while the mom and the other MA were talking about symptoms and stuff I bent down and started playing with the little girl...when we were walking out of the room the little girl reached out for me, her mom said that was really unusual and that she must have liked me. Then I had to observe blood being drawn...while the MA was putting the tourniquite on to find a vein, the little boy (maybe 4yr old) started crying...next thing I knew I was tearing up while she started to draw the blood, luckily I was able to hide it. It was really funny because after a few people they let me start getting the patients on my own and doing vitals. I'm not going to lie, I felt so important, the moms would tell me the symptoms like I was going to turn and tell them what was wrong. The kids were on their best behavior...they thought I was cool.
However, I'm not sure how I feel about the office, I don't know if it's just that office or the nature of the job, but nobody seems that friendly, I seem to be the most outgoing, and I'm really not that outgoing...the other 2 MAs one seems nice and one does not. The one that does not seem nice would get mad at me for weird things, like she asked me to send a fax, so I did it, but the line was busy, so I kept trying, and she came out and was mad that it was taking me too long, but I can't control if the recieving party is busy. But I am a little relieved, because they seem to have plenty of MAs so I can't imagine that there is a possibility of being hired, and so that takes some pressure off, obviously I still want to do well because they will be a reference, but if today was any indicator, even if I am offered a position I do not think I'll take it.
Anyhoo, it's funny how I was all worked up last week and now I got exactly what I wanted to begin with...and it feels REALLY good to be doing something I really enjoy.
OK, so as you know I got my extern assignment last week. I started today, the rest of my class started yesterday, but my site needed a day i guess to prepare for the fun that was going to hit them.
So being that I would be working in the med center I decided to take a test drive out there on Sunday, to figure out exactly where I was going figure out parking...etc. Well I found the hospital but I had no idea about parking. I wound up giving up and went home.
Yesterday (Monday) I started thinking that I was going to have to leave REALLY early to be sure about parking, so I called the Dr. to ask for clarification...again. When I talked to her she said a street and some landmark that really made no sense, but I thought maybe once I was there it would, so I made a second test drive...with no more luck and just as confused as ever I go home again. I was starting to have a sinking feeling that something wasn't right...why would the office tell me they were on memorial south...when Memorial doesn't even go to the med center...what brown building...and there is no free parking ANYWHERE near the med center, especially with no permit. I called my mom and decided maybe it would help if she drove me, then I could focus more on looking and not on traffic, and even run in the hospital and ask for direction if needed. So we venture down there a third time, I run in the hospital and hand the guy at the reception desk my paper with my assignment and ask him the best way to get there, he looked a little confused, and told me the suite they gave me was the mail room. So he needed more details to find where I belonged, details I didn't know, I didn't have a DR. name, or apparently an address, it was after 5 so when I tried to call to find out it went to an answering service. He traced the mail room number to an office, but it still wasn't making a lot of sense. I asked him about the mysterious free parking and he said for a fact that does not exist.
So I leave again, growing more and more frustrated that nobody knows where I go including myself. On the way home I was fighting crying...partially because I was hungry and tired and cranky, on top of all this madness. I start thinking I am REALLY uneasy about it all and felt like there was no way this could end well. So I decide I need to talk to the lady who coordinates our externships. But I don't have a phone number for her...that isn't her office. So I text another teacher, and she sends me her number...which is disconnected. I'm running out of options, so I get home and after some thought remember I am myspace friends with my teacher, so as a last resort I wrote on her wall to call me, but thinking she wouldn't check that. Well luckily she did, and she called me. I told her all that had happened, and she tells me to meet her in the morning at school because that really didn't seem right and she didn't want me to go all over town since it was her fault I had the mailing address.
So this morning I get there and let her call the dr. office (at this point I was already late, and I didn't want to be the one to tell them I was late already on the first day) Well, imagine both of our surprises when we find out I had been placed in HUMBLE...which is an hour from where I live, if not more. So she politely tells them that is not going to work and that I would not be the extern for them.
So at 8am I am sitting in her office, already a day behind on my externship realizing that it might be another day or 2 before I could be placed. BUT the good thing is that I was able to in a way pick where I would wind up...so clearly I said Katy, and in pediatrics. It's funny though because now I was a little disappointed because in fixing the disappointment from not getting peds to begin with I convinced myself that cardiology was a better specialty. Oh well.
So I had my first day at Katy Pediatrics. I LOVE LOVE LOVE pediatrics. One of the first patients I helped was a little girl with down syndrome, while the mom and the other MA were talking about symptoms and stuff I bent down and started playing with the little girl...when we were walking out of the room the little girl reached out for me, her mom said that was really unusual and that she must have liked me. Then I had to observe blood being drawn...while the MA was putting the tourniquite on to find a vein, the little boy (maybe 4yr old) started crying...next thing I knew I was tearing up while she started to draw the blood, luckily I was able to hide it. It was really funny because after a few people they let me start getting the patients on my own and doing vitals. I'm not going to lie, I felt so important, the moms would tell me the symptoms like I was going to turn and tell them what was wrong. The kids were on their best behavior...they thought I was cool.
However, I'm not sure how I feel about the office, I don't know if it's just that office or the nature of the job, but nobody seems that friendly, I seem to be the most outgoing, and I'm really not that outgoing...the other 2 MAs one seems nice and one does not. The one that does not seem nice would get mad at me for weird things, like she asked me to send a fax, so I did it, but the line was busy, so I kept trying, and she came out and was mad that it was taking me too long, but I can't control if the recieving party is busy. But I am a little relieved, because they seem to have plenty of MAs so I can't imagine that there is a possibility of being hired, and so that takes some pressure off, obviously I still want to do well because they will be a reference, but if today was any indicator, even if I am offered a position I do not think I'll take it.
Anyhoo, it's funny how I was all worked up last week and now I got exactly what I wanted to begin with...and it feels REALLY good to be doing something I really enjoy.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
reflectation...
I'm sitting at home thinking. Libby is asleep next to me, I must have worn her out because she is not even distracted by the tapping on the keys on my keyboard.
Back to thinking...I know lots of things make me contemplate where my life is going...but I think this week is going to be a big one. I start my externship at St. Lukes on tuesday (don't worry, I got a crash course in EKG's last week, so hopefully I won't be clueless). My birthday is friday (no I am not turning 27, that is a dirty rumor, I am actually turning 26...again)...graduate may 1st...I'm sure the list goes much longer than that.
I am so excited at the prospects of starting my externship. It's driving me crazy that the rest of my class is starting tomorrow, but I don't start until tuesday. Normally I would be excited about a impromptu day off, but I am so curious about what all of this is going to be like that the anticipation in killing me. Especially now that I am in a different field than I intended. When I assumed I was going to be in pediatrics, I have been to several pediatrician appts. It's not even that different than a general appt for an adult, so I feel like I know what to expect. But the closest experience with a cardiologist I've ever had was when I was a nanny and Bailey had to see one before her heart surgery, but even then, I never went to the dr. with them, I just heard about it.
Today I did a test run to the hospital I'm going to be at, to see timing and have an idea where I am going...I'm even more nervous because I am working in the medical center and those of you familiar with Houston, that is one crazy area. There is nowhere to park without paying (which I really hope St. Lukes pays for my parking because if not, it's going to cost me $240 a month). I think I have a general idea where I'm supposed to go, but I'm still not sure, I decided that I am going to leave an hour earlier than I would normally so I can be sure to have that all worked out without risking being late. I'd much rather sit around there and be bored than to be stressing out in my car, and God forbid have to call to say I'm going to be late on my first day.
Back to thinking...I know lots of things make me contemplate where my life is going...but I think this week is going to be a big one. I start my externship at St. Lukes on tuesday (don't worry, I got a crash course in EKG's last week, so hopefully I won't be clueless). My birthday is friday (no I am not turning 27, that is a dirty rumor, I am actually turning 26...again)...graduate may 1st...I'm sure the list goes much longer than that.
I am so excited at the prospects of starting my externship. It's driving me crazy that the rest of my class is starting tomorrow, but I don't start until tuesday. Normally I would be excited about a impromptu day off, but I am so curious about what all of this is going to be like that the anticipation in killing me. Especially now that I am in a different field than I intended. When I assumed I was going to be in pediatrics, I have been to several pediatrician appts. It's not even that different than a general appt for an adult, so I feel like I know what to expect. But the closest experience with a cardiologist I've ever had was when I was a nanny and Bailey had to see one before her heart surgery, but even then, I never went to the dr. with them, I just heard about it.
Today I did a test run to the hospital I'm going to be at, to see timing and have an idea where I am going...I'm even more nervous because I am working in the medical center and those of you familiar with Houston, that is one crazy area. There is nowhere to park without paying (which I really hope St. Lukes pays for my parking because if not, it's going to cost me $240 a month). I think I have a general idea where I'm supposed to go, but I'm still not sure, I decided that I am going to leave an hour earlier than I would normally so I can be sure to have that all worked out without risking being late. I'd much rather sit around there and be bored than to be stressing out in my car, and God forbid have to call to say I'm going to be late on my first day.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
ok, now I'm excited...
I knew from the time I wrote my last blog that I was going to regret it because I would wind up being fine with the new plan. Well things have turned out quite well...
Ok, so when I wrote the day before, I only "unofficially" knew about my extern assignment. I had been told since I hadn't gotten either of my preferences to avoid a huge disappointment when I didn't get what I wanted, which is good, because I would have been quite shocked.
So yesterday I got my folder with my actual assignment I was kinda bittersweet, because I was still a little sad that I wasn't going to be in pediatrics, but I was curious about where I was ending up, especially because I knew it was in the med center (she gave me the zip code so I could make sure it wouldn't be too far).
When I opened my folder it said "St. Lukes Episcopal Hospital" then "Cardiology" I was stuck on the St. Lukes part...I was placed at a hospital. We have been told since day 1 that we would not be placed in hospitals, the contracts were few and far between, MA jobs in hospital settings are rare...even though for the MA they are pretty much the best job you can get. They have better benefits, better hours, better pay...they will even pay for nursing school...which was always in my plan, but a few years down the line. Granted I do not have a job yet, and this may not turn into one, who knows, but if this does, I will have a hospital job right out of the gate...making nursing school a lot more realistic in my future.
It is just humbling to me that I wanted so much less for myself, and was upset that I hadn't gotten what I wanted. I guess in my mind I was just being realistic, it's virtually unheard of to get a hospital job right out of school. I do still have little pangs of sadness, because I really want to work with children, but I feel more confidant in the plan that is being set in motion now. It's just cool to have a real tangible story of when God has more for you than you can even expect or imagine.
Ok, so when I wrote the day before, I only "unofficially" knew about my extern assignment. I had been told since I hadn't gotten either of my preferences to avoid a huge disappointment when I didn't get what I wanted, which is good, because I would have been quite shocked.
So yesterday I got my folder with my actual assignment I was kinda bittersweet, because I was still a little sad that I wasn't going to be in pediatrics, but I was curious about where I was ending up, especially because I knew it was in the med center (she gave me the zip code so I could make sure it wouldn't be too far).
When I opened my folder it said "St. Lukes Episcopal Hospital" then "Cardiology" I was stuck on the St. Lukes part...I was placed at a hospital. We have been told since day 1 that we would not be placed in hospitals, the contracts were few and far between, MA jobs in hospital settings are rare...even though for the MA they are pretty much the best job you can get. They have better benefits, better hours, better pay...they will even pay for nursing school...which was always in my plan, but a few years down the line. Granted I do not have a job yet, and this may not turn into one, who knows, but if this does, I will have a hospital job right out of the gate...making nursing school a lot more realistic in my future.
It is just humbling to me that I wanted so much less for myself, and was upset that I hadn't gotten what I wanted. I guess in my mind I was just being realistic, it's virtually unheard of to get a hospital job right out of school. I do still have little pangs of sadness, because I really want to work with children, but I feel more confidant in the plan that is being set in motion now. It's just cool to have a real tangible story of when God has more for you than you can even expect or imagine.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
dissapointment
call me a spoiled brat...but I'm upset...I didn't get what I want.
So as most of you know, this week I am finding out my assignment for externship (read as I am finding out the person I am going to be working for, for free for a month). Anyone who has even heard of me knows that I want to work in pediatrics, that is the only reason I even got this degree, working with kids is what I have wanted to do with my life pretty much from the time I stopped being a kid myself.
Well, although I still don't know my actual site yet, I won't until tomorrow, I did find out the specialty I will be in...cardiology...I'm not even good at cardiology, I can't read an EKG, cardiology was my first "b" in school. I am trying to look on the bright side, cardiology is a very technical field, and she wouldn't have placed me there if she didn't think I was capable, but...it just upsets me that all I have wanted was peds, and in fact when asked when asked what I didn't want to do...I said geriatrics...what part of the population would you say mostly goes to a cardiologist???
Just to explain the process a little, a few weeks ago we were asked to fill out a paper with 3 preferences of field and area of town. I'm a reasonable adult, I was aware I may not get my first choice in either category...but I didn't get anything I even remotely wrote down in either category. for field I said 1) pediatrics 2) family medicine (pretty much a normal dr. office) or 3) OB/GYN for area of town I put katy, memorial or sugarland...but I got a cardiologist near the galleria I think, I'm still not real sure where exactly I'll be. I just know it's towards down town...the OPPOSITE of where I wanted. I'm frustrated because I don't understand why I even filled out any preferences when they were just going to do what they want anyway. I hate traffic...I hate cardiology...and right now I hate my life... maybe I should just stay at starbucks at least I'm good at that :(
So as most of you know, this week I am finding out my assignment for externship (read as I am finding out the person I am going to be working for, for free for a month). Anyone who has even heard of me knows that I want to work in pediatrics, that is the only reason I even got this degree, working with kids is what I have wanted to do with my life pretty much from the time I stopped being a kid myself.
Well, although I still don't know my actual site yet, I won't until tomorrow, I did find out the specialty I will be in...cardiology...I'm not even good at cardiology, I can't read an EKG, cardiology was my first "b" in school. I am trying to look on the bright side, cardiology is a very technical field, and she wouldn't have placed me there if she didn't think I was capable, but...it just upsets me that all I have wanted was peds, and in fact when asked when asked what I didn't want to do...I said geriatrics...what part of the population would you say mostly goes to a cardiologist???
Just to explain the process a little, a few weeks ago we were asked to fill out a paper with 3 preferences of field and area of town. I'm a reasonable adult, I was aware I may not get my first choice in either category...but I didn't get anything I even remotely wrote down in either category. for field I said 1) pediatrics 2) family medicine (pretty much a normal dr. office) or 3) OB/GYN for area of town I put katy, memorial or sugarland...but I got a cardiologist near the galleria I think, I'm still not real sure where exactly I'll be. I just know it's towards down town...the OPPOSITE of where I wanted. I'm frustrated because I don't understand why I even filled out any preferences when they were just going to do what they want anyway. I hate traffic...I hate cardiology...and right now I hate my life... maybe I should just stay at starbucks at least I'm good at that :(
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
a day in the life
this is how Libby tries to get me to rub her tummy when I am trying to sleep, you can't tell but now that she is in position, she is going to start hitting me with her paws and pushing herself more into my face so I can't ignore her.
it always takes a little motivation of reading my friends blogs to encourage me to update my own. That and my new and improved lack of sleeping pattern.
I have played with the idea of making a video blog for fans of Libby, but it's too good of an idea for me to waste on doing it 2-3 times and then abandoning it. Plus Libby is lame on camera, it's like she knows when I am recording and just sits there. It would be more awesome if I had video editing skills but I don't so don't hold your breath on that one. Right now she is laying down at the foot of my bed, but I'm not falling for it, the minute I lay down to sleep she will start jumping in my face, pulling my hair growling biting and trying to force me to pet her...you can ask my sister (all maybe 3 of you that read this and maybe know her).
I am the happiest girl right now...because...I have 6 days left of school. Can you believe it? I can't...this time next week I'll be finding out where my externship is exactly, finishing my last venopunctures (blood draws), and vital signs. I have found out that I will most likely be in a pediatric office in Katy, and right now the market is looking good as far as getting hired on after, or even having the choice to get another job instead of settling for the sake of getting a job. I can't believe that almost 8 months ago I had basic medical knowledge, but now I am comfortable poking people with needles, drawing blood, explaining procedures. This time in some ways seems slow, it feels like I've been in school forever...but at the same time it has moved so fast that I am slightly shocked that I am qualified to even be a MA. Although this last month of night school is killing me, as far as my class is concerned it was a good decision to switch, I get a long with them much better, it's more laid back, the teacher always tells us they are losers, which makes me sad that I got lumped into that before. I just am not good at regulating my sleeping, now I come home from school somewhere around 11, I eat something, and then by the time I wind down to fall asleep it is 3-4 am. I don't have to be at school until 6pm, but it makes me cranky when I sleep until 10-11am because I wake up feeling like I missed a portion of the day.
I wish I had more funny anecdotes or something, but my life is fairly boring for now...with the exception of Libby.
Monday, March 16, 2009
drama update
Well, I think it has finally ended, or at least I hope so...I'm sure for them they will keep talking but it's not my problem, I removed myself once and for all. I switched out of the class and now go to school at night.
Before you start saying I am running away from the problem and whatever it is that you might think, hear me out.
So, on thursday (the day after the last drama), I went to school, I didn't speak to them unless spoken to, but I was nice and normal...I wasn't pouting, I wasn't giving dirty looks, I just sat and did my work and didn't really pay too much attention to them. So we got to our last class which is lab. We were told to partner up and to do a full exam (which would take the whole class) so since this would take one person a whole class just to do it, there was no way we could work in groups of 3. Well, there were 6 in my former group of friends, 2 had paired up, the other 2 paired up (the erikas that hate me) and it left me and one other who had remained fairly neutral, so I didn't really think it would be a problem. But she was kinda clinging to the erikas, and so they told her that they couldn't be a group of three and she was like why not, and they were like leigh doesn't have a partner, and she goes "ewww no" so at that point I got up and left, there was no point in me sitting in that class not doing anything and I was really hurt by that.
As I left I got to thinking. This is our last week in the classes we have now, meaning monday our class was going to have 6 people, 3 hate me, one is me, and the other 2 don't hate me. If they were going to be childish like this and refuse to partner with me now, than there were surely going to be more problems later. So I went to the director and switched to night class. Am I happy about that? no, I would much rather have stayed in class during the day, but I just didn't really see there ever being any real resolution to all this.
I must say that as much as I didn't want to switch, I am so relieved since I have...I knew I was stressed out, but seeing the difference in how I feel now and how I felt then, I can't believe how stressed I really was.
Before you start saying I am running away from the problem and whatever it is that you might think, hear me out.
So, on thursday (the day after the last drama), I went to school, I didn't speak to them unless spoken to, but I was nice and normal...I wasn't pouting, I wasn't giving dirty looks, I just sat and did my work and didn't really pay too much attention to them. So we got to our last class which is lab. We were told to partner up and to do a full exam (which would take the whole class) so since this would take one person a whole class just to do it, there was no way we could work in groups of 3. Well, there were 6 in my former group of friends, 2 had paired up, the other 2 paired up (the erikas that hate me) and it left me and one other who had remained fairly neutral, so I didn't really think it would be a problem. But she was kinda clinging to the erikas, and so they told her that they couldn't be a group of three and she was like why not, and they were like leigh doesn't have a partner, and she goes "ewww no" so at that point I got up and left, there was no point in me sitting in that class not doing anything and I was really hurt by that.
As I left I got to thinking. This is our last week in the classes we have now, meaning monday our class was going to have 6 people, 3 hate me, one is me, and the other 2 don't hate me. If they were going to be childish like this and refuse to partner with me now, than there were surely going to be more problems later. So I went to the director and switched to night class. Am I happy about that? no, I would much rather have stayed in class during the day, but I just didn't really see there ever being any real resolution to all this.
I must say that as much as I didn't want to switch, I am so relieved since I have...I knew I was stressed out, but seeing the difference in how I feel now and how I felt then, I can't believe how stressed I really was.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
drama queen
I'm probably going to catch crap for this, but at this point i don't care i'm tired of hiding my feelings to protect others.
So for about a month now, there has been trouble at school. This girl who was one of my friends out of nowhere stopped talking to me. At first I blew it off, maybe she was having a bad day, maybe I had annoyed her and she just needed some space from me...so I just went on like normal. The more time went by the more clear it became to me that it wasn't just a bad day or anything like that. She still talked to the others normal, and I started noticing that when I talk there would usually be a smacking sound behind me, or a muttered whatever under her breath. I didn't know what to do, I'm not a fan of confrontation, and I had a feeling even if I did confront it, it would blow up in my face (which it eventually did). After about a week or 2 I said something to someone else. They quickly told me that it couldn't be true and I was being sensitive... I wasn't convinced, and told her to watch the rest of the day. By the end of that day she saw what I ment and said I needed to talk to her. I still had a bad feeling about talking, and so she went to her and asked her what was up. the girls answer was that I don't help them...I am still not sure what to think about that because I have helped them all along, I just draw the line at cheating. I don't think it's fair for me to come home and study and then they just get to copy my answers. So we just dropped it for then.
In the last week or so it's gotten a lot worse, until today, when it all blew, like I had thought it would. I don't feel like going into all the details, it would be hard too understand not knowing the people involved. But basically someone else brought it up said we needed to work it out. Other people kept speaking for her, she claimed she didn't have a problem with me. I told her that she has a funny way of showing it because she had been ignoring me for a month now. She kept saying she didn't have a problem with me, until other people were like yes you do, tell her. Finally it came out (I think someone else wound up saying it though) that I don't help them and that I am over dramatic. I already said my feeling about helping them, but the dramatic thing blew me away...I'm not saying that I am not ever dramatic, but out of the people telling me all this I would say I have the least drama... that they know about at least. So we went back and forth for a little while, but I was getting frustrated because other people in the class kept butting in, and even the others involved in the convo were all siding with the other girl, nobody was agreeing with me at all. I don't so much care about the sides, thats childish, but what bothered me is even when I would make a point, like about how I have helped all of them, I have never said I wouldn't help, not one of them said anything...it made me feel like they were all saying that I really don't help. Then when I would try to defend myself they would all jump on me and say I was wrong...so by that point I knew this wasn't going anywhere.
Finally someone asked if we were friends, the other girl nodded yes, and I nodded no. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jump up and be friends with someone who dropped me like that. So again everyone is getting frustrated that I was being stubborn, but I can't help it. It didn't help that they had accused me of being dramatic because basically no matter how I respond now is just me being over dramatic. I told them that I hadn't done anything wrong to be treated like I had been, and they all jumped on me saying that wasn't what they said...that went back and forth for a bit. finally I said, why should I drop this like that, she hasn't even apologized? so she threw out a fake "sorry" 1) if it had been sincere I would have accepted that 2) if it was sincere I don't really believe that I would have had to basically tell her to apologize.
Basically thats where it's at. I don't want to be friends, I want to drop the situation, I can be nice...but I'm not going to drop everything to trust her to be my friend again and get dropped the next time I annoy her. I admit that I am being stubborn, and maybe thats not the best way to handle it, but I'm pissed, I didn't do anything to begin with except be a little annoying, but can anyone say they have never been annoying? I was treated like crap, talked about, and ignored by people who were supposed to be my friends...as much as I want to say I don't care, I do, they hurt me. I don't know what else to say, I feel like the best way to drop it is to just seperate myself from them and move on...but I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'll just be seen as a drama queen. UGh, this last month of school can't pass soon enough.
So for about a month now, there has been trouble at school. This girl who was one of my friends out of nowhere stopped talking to me. At first I blew it off, maybe she was having a bad day, maybe I had annoyed her and she just needed some space from me...so I just went on like normal. The more time went by the more clear it became to me that it wasn't just a bad day or anything like that. She still talked to the others normal, and I started noticing that when I talk there would usually be a smacking sound behind me, or a muttered whatever under her breath. I didn't know what to do, I'm not a fan of confrontation, and I had a feeling even if I did confront it, it would blow up in my face (which it eventually did). After about a week or 2 I said something to someone else. They quickly told me that it couldn't be true and I was being sensitive... I wasn't convinced, and told her to watch the rest of the day. By the end of that day she saw what I ment and said I needed to talk to her. I still had a bad feeling about talking, and so she went to her and asked her what was up. the girls answer was that I don't help them...I am still not sure what to think about that because I have helped them all along, I just draw the line at cheating. I don't think it's fair for me to come home and study and then they just get to copy my answers. So we just dropped it for then.
In the last week or so it's gotten a lot worse, until today, when it all blew, like I had thought it would. I don't feel like going into all the details, it would be hard too understand not knowing the people involved. But basically someone else brought it up said we needed to work it out. Other people kept speaking for her, she claimed she didn't have a problem with me. I told her that she has a funny way of showing it because she had been ignoring me for a month now. She kept saying she didn't have a problem with me, until other people were like yes you do, tell her. Finally it came out (I think someone else wound up saying it though) that I don't help them and that I am over dramatic. I already said my feeling about helping them, but the dramatic thing blew me away...I'm not saying that I am not ever dramatic, but out of the people telling me all this I would say I have the least drama... that they know about at least. So we went back and forth for a little while, but I was getting frustrated because other people in the class kept butting in, and even the others involved in the convo were all siding with the other girl, nobody was agreeing with me at all. I don't so much care about the sides, thats childish, but what bothered me is even when I would make a point, like about how I have helped all of them, I have never said I wouldn't help, not one of them said anything...it made me feel like they were all saying that I really don't help. Then when I would try to defend myself they would all jump on me and say I was wrong...so by that point I knew this wasn't going anywhere.
Finally someone asked if we were friends, the other girl nodded yes, and I nodded no. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to jump up and be friends with someone who dropped me like that. So again everyone is getting frustrated that I was being stubborn, but I can't help it. It didn't help that they had accused me of being dramatic because basically no matter how I respond now is just me being over dramatic. I told them that I hadn't done anything wrong to be treated like I had been, and they all jumped on me saying that wasn't what they said...that went back and forth for a bit. finally I said, why should I drop this like that, she hasn't even apologized? so she threw out a fake "sorry" 1) if it had been sincere I would have accepted that 2) if it was sincere I don't really believe that I would have had to basically tell her to apologize.
Basically thats where it's at. I don't want to be friends, I want to drop the situation, I can be nice...but I'm not going to drop everything to trust her to be my friend again and get dropped the next time I annoy her. I admit that I am being stubborn, and maybe thats not the best way to handle it, but I'm pissed, I didn't do anything to begin with except be a little annoying, but can anyone say they have never been annoying? I was treated like crap, talked about, and ignored by people who were supposed to be my friends...as much as I want to say I don't care, I do, they hurt me. I don't know what else to say, I feel like the best way to drop it is to just seperate myself from them and move on...but I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'll just be seen as a drama queen. UGh, this last month of school can't pass soon enough.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
domestic violence
*Let me preface this with I am not making fun of abusive relationships, in no way shape or form are they funny, I am really making fun of my dog, who is ok with it, I asked her*
So, I think I just realized something. I think I am in an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship with my dog, Libby.
I realized this while lying in bed tonight. Today we went to the dog park and if another dog even considered approaching me, or the girl I was sitting with she would come and snap at them and get between the other dog and me while showing her teeth. It got me thinking, she doesn't like for me to leave her, she nips at me if I don't pay attention to her, she nudges me if she is sitting in arms reach and I am not petting her, if I am sleeping where she wants to be in my bed she kicks me until I move. She pulls my hair sometimes, she has destroyed furniture (and a wall). She gets mad if I pay attention to something that is not her. I never realized how controlling she was.
All the while, she is allowed to let any random person pet her, if I try to trim her nails she gets mad at me, she is a bully at the dog park always barking and I assume talking trash to the other dogs, if another dog is playing ball with their owner she promptly goes and steals the ball (today she did this to a little girl)...but I can't even bring her ball anymore because she get mad and aggresive if another dog even runs in the general direction of her ball. I cannot leave a room without her at my feet, but she can leave me wherever she wants.
As crazy as that dog is, I can't even imagine my life without her.
So, I think I just realized something. I think I am in an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship with my dog, Libby.
I realized this while lying in bed tonight. Today we went to the dog park and if another dog even considered approaching me, or the girl I was sitting with she would come and snap at them and get between the other dog and me while showing her teeth. It got me thinking, she doesn't like for me to leave her, she nips at me if I don't pay attention to her, she nudges me if she is sitting in arms reach and I am not petting her, if I am sleeping where she wants to be in my bed she kicks me until I move. She pulls my hair sometimes, she has destroyed furniture (and a wall). She gets mad if I pay attention to something that is not her. I never realized how controlling she was.
All the while, she is allowed to let any random person pet her, if I try to trim her nails she gets mad at me, she is a bully at the dog park always barking and I assume talking trash to the other dogs, if another dog is playing ball with their owner she promptly goes and steals the ball (today she did this to a little girl)...but I can't even bring her ball anymore because she get mad and aggresive if another dog even runs in the general direction of her ball. I cannot leave a room without her at my feet, but she can leave me wherever she wants.
As crazy as that dog is, I can't even imagine my life without her.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
delinquent Florida blog
I came back from Miami Thursday...today is sunday...so I guess no time like the present to update.
I had so much fun, it was nice to relax, I love the sun, I love shopping :)
So I flew out on Christmas eve. I had all this ambition to do a day-to-day account for my blog, with pictures, but unfortunate event #1...I forgot the power cord to my computer, so I didn't have much use of my computer. When I flew in Steph picked me up but had to return to work for a few more hours, I watched her though, I think she checked facebook more than "working" but she had a good reason, her job is a recruiter of sorts, and really, who are you going to recruit on Christmas eve? So then we went to her apt and I took a power nap while she went to the store (I had woken up at 4 am my time to make it to the airport, then I lost an hour in Florida so I was really tired) We went to the mall and ate at Cheesecake factory.
Christmas day we slept in, but we got to go to the beach, it was a tad cold, but I didn't care, I had purposed that I would come home tan. Unfortunatly by 2 the beach was overcast making is slightly miserable. I don't honestly remember what we did after that, oh yeah Steph made Christmas dinner which was yummy meatloaf (I don't like ham, she didn't really like turkey nor were we going to get a whole one for the 2 of us) and so we ate dinner and watched a movie (I think that is the night we watched knocked up).
I'll spare you details of the next day...it was a semi lame shopping trip. That is one of the few areas if life where sister and I differ greatly, I really don't care much about sales, I hate crowds...so those rush sale days don't really make me happy. The one redeeming fact was the night before I had looked up (ok stalked) to see if any celebs lived in the area, and don't worry, Candace Cameron (DJ from full house) lived mere blocks from the mall I was at, unfortunatly she was not shopping that day.
Saturday we went kayacking. That was fun, because for one thing I got to be in my beloved sunshine. While we were kayacking we somehow wound up in a colony of jellyfish. Stephanie was sitting in front of me and everytime she would row I was a little scared that she would fling one up on me (she had been splashing me all morning). I also threatened her that if she got stung I didn't have to pee so I would be unable to help her. (background story...sister ALWAYS has to pee, anytime we go anywhere we have to stop multiple times for her to go...I on the other hand rarely go in public. Saturday afternoon we went to the casino! That was probably my favorite part. I've never been to one, it was fun. The best part was when I one a grand total of $4.04...on the nickle slots...although as Jill so lovingly pointed out, I spent $5...so really I spent 96 cents.
Sunday was more shopping, a little less stressful though. It was also the day I saw Molly Sims while getting a mani pedi. I didn't know who she was though, I only figured it out after someone told me...then don't worry I was reading PEOPLE on the flight home and she was in it.
Stephanie had to return to work on monday so I just beached it up. same thing on tuesday.
Wednesday I had a nervoud breakdown. Stephanie had found a cord for my computer (thats the cool thing about working for Dell, the random computer crap laying around). So my computer had started working again. Anyhoo, so I went to turn on my zune (mp3 player) to check to see if I needed to charge it when it froze. I tried everything I know to do...So I was like, oh I'll look up the troubleshooting website. Well first thing when I opened my browser was a story on how all the zunes like mine were freezing, and it was some sort of hardware glitch...so I vowed to get a ipod when steph came home from work. I CAN'T go without the music, and I was flying home the next day, so it was going to be necessary. So I did just that, I now have a pink ipod nano. So we went home and I was all ready to hook it up to my computer and start downloading...when I went to turn on my computer...it wouldn't start. after trying different things for nearly an hour, I called tech support...at this point I was in tears, I was so frustrated with everything...and I hate calling tech support they always treat you stupid ("ok, can you turn the computer on for me" NO I CAN'T that is the problem!)...so after about an hour of that they said my mother board was going to have to be replaced...except that they would have to send me a box, then I would have to send my computer back in...except oh wait, I have a project/paper due this friday, so I wouldn't be able to make a whole week without my computer...So after a lot more crying and stressing out, I fell asleep and that is the end of my florida story...I flew home the next morning :)
I had so much fun, it was nice to relax, I love the sun, I love shopping :)
So I flew out on Christmas eve. I had all this ambition to do a day-to-day account for my blog, with pictures, but unfortunate event #1...I forgot the power cord to my computer, so I didn't have much use of my computer. When I flew in Steph picked me up but had to return to work for a few more hours, I watched her though, I think she checked facebook more than "working" but she had a good reason, her job is a recruiter of sorts, and really, who are you going to recruit on Christmas eve? So then we went to her apt and I took a power nap while she went to the store (I had woken up at 4 am my time to make it to the airport, then I lost an hour in Florida so I was really tired) We went to the mall and ate at Cheesecake factory.
Christmas day we slept in, but we got to go to the beach, it was a tad cold, but I didn't care, I had purposed that I would come home tan. Unfortunatly by 2 the beach was overcast making is slightly miserable. I don't honestly remember what we did after that, oh yeah Steph made Christmas dinner which was yummy meatloaf (I don't like ham, she didn't really like turkey nor were we going to get a whole one for the 2 of us) and so we ate dinner and watched a movie (I think that is the night we watched knocked up).
I'll spare you details of the next day...it was a semi lame shopping trip. That is one of the few areas if life where sister and I differ greatly, I really don't care much about sales, I hate crowds...so those rush sale days don't really make me happy. The one redeeming fact was the night before I had looked up (ok stalked) to see if any celebs lived in the area, and don't worry, Candace Cameron (DJ from full house) lived mere blocks from the mall I was at, unfortunatly she was not shopping that day.
Saturday we went kayacking. That was fun, because for one thing I got to be in my beloved sunshine. While we were kayacking we somehow wound up in a colony of jellyfish. Stephanie was sitting in front of me and everytime she would row I was a little scared that she would fling one up on me (she had been splashing me all morning). I also threatened her that if she got stung I didn't have to pee so I would be unable to help her. (background story...sister ALWAYS has to pee, anytime we go anywhere we have to stop multiple times for her to go...I on the other hand rarely go in public. Saturday afternoon we went to the casino! That was probably my favorite part. I've never been to one, it was fun. The best part was when I one a grand total of $4.04...on the nickle slots...although as Jill so lovingly pointed out, I spent $5...so really I spent 96 cents.
Sunday was more shopping, a little less stressful though. It was also the day I saw Molly Sims while getting a mani pedi. I didn't know who she was though, I only figured it out after someone told me...then don't worry I was reading PEOPLE on the flight home and she was in it.
Stephanie had to return to work on monday so I just beached it up. same thing on tuesday.
Wednesday I had a nervoud breakdown. Stephanie had found a cord for my computer (thats the cool thing about working for Dell, the random computer crap laying around). So my computer had started working again. Anyhoo, so I went to turn on my zune (mp3 player) to check to see if I needed to charge it when it froze. I tried everything I know to do...So I was like, oh I'll look up the troubleshooting website. Well first thing when I opened my browser was a story on how all the zunes like mine were freezing, and it was some sort of hardware glitch...so I vowed to get a ipod when steph came home from work. I CAN'T go without the music, and I was flying home the next day, so it was going to be necessary. So I did just that, I now have a pink ipod nano. So we went home and I was all ready to hook it up to my computer and start downloading...when I went to turn on my computer...it wouldn't start. after trying different things for nearly an hour, I called tech support...at this point I was in tears, I was so frustrated with everything...and I hate calling tech support they always treat you stupid ("ok, can you turn the computer on for me" NO I CAN'T that is the problem!)...so after about an hour of that they said my mother board was going to have to be replaced...except that they would have to send me a box, then I would have to send my computer back in...except oh wait, I have a project/paper due this friday, so I wouldn't be able to make a whole week without my computer...So after a lot more crying and stressing out, I fell asleep and that is the end of my florida story...I flew home the next morning :)
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